Closer to the Darkness
by elsawriter
Summary: -Chapter 8 up- Unwilling to face another summer at the Dursleys after Voldemort’s return, Harry discovers a truth about his family and an aunt who holds the key to his mum's past. And Buffy Summers finds a nephew that she left behind thirteen years ago...
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: None of the characters or settings in this story belong to me. They belong to Joss Whedon and JK Rowling and I'm not making any money out of them.

Timeline: Post GoF in HP verse. Post Chosen in Buffy, but somewhere mid season 4 of Angel for the purposes of this story

Premise: Unwilling to face another summer at the Dursleys after Voldemort's rebirth, Harry discovers the truth about his family and an aunt who holds the key to his mother's past. And Buffy Summers finds a nephew that she left behind thirteen years ago…

Pairings: undecided as yet

A/N: For readers that have read my stuff before, you'll know that it's been ages since I posted. I'm really sorry if you wanted a Redeemed update but I've had such incredible writers block, probably not helped by the fact that I've been writing this. Redeemed is going to be on hold while I get this started, but don't worry it will definitely be finished in the early part of next year, unlike Changes which is officially abandoned as I have no clue where to go with that story. Anyone that would like to take it over can mail me at 

This story is another lost relative story but hopefully it'll be a bit different since its set almost entirely in the Buffy verse. If you like it please review and let me know why and if you hate it then also let me know why!

**Prologue **

"Now I have work for each of you. Fudge's attitude, though not unexpected, changes everything. Sirius, I need you to set off at once. You are to alert Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher – the old crowd. Lie low at Lupin's for a while, I will contact you there."  
Harry glanced up at Sirius whose jaw was tightly set. He nodded sharply.

"Severus," said Dumbledore, turning to Snape. "You know what I must ask you to do. If you are ready…if you are prepared…"  
"I am," said Snape.  
He looked slightly paler than usual, and his cold, black eyes glittered strangely.

"Then, good luck," said Dumbledore, and he watched with a trace of apprehension on his face, as Snape swept wordlessly out of the ward.  
It was several minutes before Dumbledore spoke again.

"I must go downstairs," he said finally. "I must see the Diggorys. Harry – take the rest of you potion. Sirius – you must go to Lupin. I will see all of you as soon as I can."  
"Wait," Harry said suddenly. Dumbledore fixed his light blue eyes on Harry. "I want to go with Sirius, to Lupin's. Please, let me go with Sirius." Dumbledore's expression softened slightly.

"That is not possible," he said, a trace of regret in his voice. "You must remain at Hogwarts and then return to your Aunt and Uncle's home. You will see Sirius after that, I promise."

"No," Harry said, surprising even himself with the vehemence in his voice. "I can't go back to the Dursleys, don't send me back there." Dumbledore's expression softened.  
"You must Harry," he said gently. "If only for a short while. There are things in motion that you do not understand yet. You will soon."  
"Please Professor. Anywhere but the Dursleys. Can't I go with Ron?"  
"Harry, please," Sirius said, coming forward. "Just do as Dumbledore asks, it won't be long."

"I can't go back to the Dursleys. I can't, not now. Can't I stay here? Anywhere but there, with them," Harry implored Sirius.  
Sirius and Dumbledore exchanged glances and Harry saw Sirius shake his head imperceptibly which Dumbledore raised an eyebrow at.  
"No," Sirius said, voicing his thoughts. "Not there." Harry looked up at Sirius' face which was carefully expressionless.  
"Sirius," Dumbledore said quietly. "It is not out of the question."  
"It is to me," Sirius said tightly. "It is too dangerous. Absolutely not." Dumbledore studied Sirius' face intently and Harry could see there was some sort of battle going on between them.  
"Shouldn't Harry decide?" Dumbledore said finally and Harry moved his gaze to him. Sirius looked quickly at his godson and sighed defeatedly.  
"Tell him then," he said petulantly. "But it's not what I wanted, remember that." Harry pushed his bedcovers aside and made to get out of his hospital bed but Dumbledore came to his bedside and motioned for him to stay put.  
"You must rest," he said simply. Harry stared up at Dumbledore questioningly and Dumbledore sighed heavily.  
"What I am going to tell you will come as somewhat of a shock," Dumbledore said slowly, eyes fixed unfalteringly on Harry's. "But you must bear with me and I will answer any questions you have after I am finished." Harry nodded, throat constricted as he waited for Dumbledore to continue.  
"I know you have not been happy at the Dursleys," Dumbledore began. "I wished it were otherwise, I wished that you could go with Sirius or one of any of the many Wizarding families that offered to take you but it was not to be so. I told you a few years ago that when your mother died she left a lasting protection on you that Voldemort could not fathom or break. This protection was known to me when I sent Hagrid to collect you from your parent's home and I used it to invoke an ancient magic to protect you. I knew you would be in danger; that the war that had just come to an abrupt halt would begin again soon. You would be safe at Hogwarts, I could watch you, however in the holidays I feared for your safety. But the legacy of your mother had given us a powerful method to protect you. Old magic, more ancient than most know of, used your mother's love to keep you safe, as long as you lived wherever her blood resided."  
"Privet Drive," Harry murmured. "Aunt Petunia." Dumbledore nodded despondently.  
"While you can still call home the place where your mother's blood dwells, you cannot be touched or harmed by Voldemort there." Harry stared through Dumbledore, his mind whirling.  
"So I have to stay at the Dursleys?" Harry said hollowly. Once again Dumbledore looked at Sirius who wore a deeply disapproving expression.

"Yes," Dumbledore said hesitantly. "And no. It is imperative that you stay at a place where your mother's blood resides, you are now in more danger than even you know." Harry frowned in confusion.

"Then what? How is there any alternative?" Harry said bemusedly. His frowned lifted when a look of realisation came to his features. "Unless there's…..another."

Wordlessly, Dumbledore nodded.

"My grandparents?" Harry guessed. "They're still alive?" Dumbledore shook his head.  
"Another sister. There was Lily, Petunia and….another" he murmured gravely. Shock crossed Harry's face.  
"I have another Aunt?" he asked in disbelief. "Why wasn't I told?" Sirius came forward to stand by Dumbledore at Harry's bedside.  
"Because she isn't a witch," he said finally. "And she doesn't live in Britain. It wasn't practical."  
"I don't give a damn about the practicalities of the situation! I could've lived with her," Harry stated angrily. "You all knew what the Dursleys are like; you knew how much I hated living there and how they treated me. I could've lived with my other Aunt, she couldn't have been much worse than the Dursleys."

"Your Aunt is not like Petunia Dursley," Dumbledore said quietly. "She loved Lily very much and she was a lot like her. But at the time we all felt it was safer for you to go to Privet Drive." Harry stared at Dumbledore and Sirius in turn.  
"So I can go to stay with her?" Harry asked imploringly. Once again Sirius and Dumbledore exchanged looks and Harry began to get irritated.  
"What is it?" he asked irritably. "Does she not know I exist? Does she not know I'm a wizard?"  
"She knows," Sirius said quietly. "She's your godmother. She was even a member of the Order before Voldemort fell." Harry was astounded.  
"But you said she's not a witch," he said frowning. Dumbledore nodded.  
"She isn't," he confirmed. "But she is the slayer." Harry was flabbergasted again.

"She's the slayer?" he repeated in a low voice. "Then surely I would've been better protected by staying with her." Dumbledore shook his head impassively.  
"In Defence Against the Dark Arts you have learnt about the Hellmouth, a centre of mystical convergence, correct?" Harry nodded, sensing where this was going. "Well this slayer lives atop the Hellmouth and at the time we decided that it was too dangerous for you to be sent there."

Harry looked away, staring unseeingly at the floor for a few moments. When he looked back, his jaw was set determinedly.

"What can you tell me about my Aunt?" he asked grimly. "What's her name? How old is she?" Dumbledore looked at Sirius who sighed heavily.  
"Her name is Buffy Summers," he said neutrally. "She's twenty eight years old and she lives in Sunnydale California. She was six years younger than Lily and they were very close. When Buffy turned 12 she was sent to America with her Uncle Hank and Aunt Joyce Summers to live. There were a lot of muggle-born wizard's families being killed and your Grandparents didn't want Buffy involved. She came back sporadically though, when she was fourteen Lily and James got married and she was bridesmaid. Then when she turned sixteen you were born and she was your godmother. She'd just been called as slayer and after you were born she helped with the fight against Voldemort. There was a.....secret resistance society set up by Dumbledore and she was part of it, and myself, Lily, James, Remus, other people too, friends of ours that you've never met. She was a good fighter, useful for what we were doing back then. But when Lily and James were killed and Dumbledore refused to let her take you back to America, she left. I haven't had any contact with her since. No one has."

"You knew her?" Harry asked in astonishment. Sirius nodded.  
"Of course I did," he said. "Me and James went to Lily's house loads of times while we were at school and Buffy was around, just a kid but she worshipped Lily. And then later we fought together. I knew her pretty well back then, we were pretty good friends. But I don't know her anymore. As far as she knows I'm still in Azkaban. She refused to have anything to do with the Wizarding world after Lily was killed."  
"Why?" Harry asked curiously. Sirius shrugged but still answered.

"Blamed us," he said bitterly. "She never wanted Lily to get mixed up with the war but Lily insisted she would fight. When Lily and James were killed, she was in Sunnydale. She wasn't there when her sister died so she blamed us, said that we didn't protect them enough and we never saw her again."

Harry sat staring dumbly into space for a while after Sirius spoke; trying to get his head around all the new things he was being told. Finally, he looked up and realised they were all waiting for him to talk.

"You said – Professor Dumbledore – you said you refused to give me to her?"

Dumbledore sighed heavily, looked at Sirius briefly and then back at Harry.

"She was due to come back to England the day Lily and James were killed. She went straight to their house and found it, just after Voldemort had killed your parents and just after Sirius arrived."  
"I was holding you," Sirius continued tightly. "She showed up and saw James and Lily….just lying there….dead. And she turned to me and told me to give you to her. 'He's my nephew Sirius' she said. But you were my godson too and I knew what she would do with you: take you back to America and we would never see you again. And then Hagrid showed up and insisted he was taking you to Dumbledore and she left."  
"Didn't she hate you?" Harry asked. "I mean she must've thought you were the secret keeper right?" Sirius shook his head.

"She knew exactly who I was and that wasn't a traitor," Sirius said grimly. "But she hated me in that moment, there was her sister dead on the floor and there was nothing she could do about it. No amount of fighting could save her sister at that point. And she knew exactly what had happened. Lily told her everything, and Buffy had been the only one to argue with the plan to make Peter secret keeper, she didn't trust him. She saw through him in a way that none of us did until it was too late. Maybe she felt guilty, that she didn't do enough to change our minds." He looked at Harry sharply. "You want to go to her don't you?"  
Harry felt guilty but nodded in spite of it. Sirius smiled bitterly.  
"Then go," he said shortly. "Don't forget to ask her where she's been for the last thirteen years."

Please review!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Loads of people asked about the pairing and I'm sorry but this is definitely not gonna be a Buffy/Sirius fic. I've done loads of them and now it's time for a change. The pairing is between two choices which will become clearer later.

Also the age thing which someone commented on, this fic is set a few months after the end of season seven but still somewhere before Angel takes over Wolfram and Hart. I've moved things along a bit so Buffy is twenty eight which is necessary for the timeline.

**Thanks to: **

Chrios – sorry, Sirius is just the godfather, the nephew thing was just a typo which has now been edited out

Thecharmedone - thanks for your support. I love Buffy but she isn't perfect. She's got a lot of resentments and unresolved issues in this fic; some of it is down to guilt but letting Sirius go to Azkaban wasn't really her fault as you'll see. But she definitely has faults.

Tanydwr – I agree but Buffy never was that comfortable about her friends fighting with her, so her sister fighting would also not be a good thing for her. Also from her point of view, the fight should've been down to other wizards, not her sister.

Erak – there's one set pairing which is almost definite but not Buffy/Sirius I'm afraid. Dawn will be making appearances.

Just Me – there will be a Sirius Buffy confrontation pretty soon but it won't be in Sunnydale as you'll see pretty soon. But I'm leaving Buffy as not a witch though I like the idea and might write a fic with her as a witch sometime. It's just I've got this whole plot chart which I can't be bothered to change! And thank you, it's really good to be back.

**Also:** CelticHeiressFiona, CharmedChick, irismoon, White Wolf 3, Morph012, Draco's Slytherin Vampiress, CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur, captuniv, gaul1, Talum, Kiara-Zzyopen, manticore-gurl071134, Charmed-angel4, vixen519, Botticelli'sVenus

**Chapter 2 **

_-Post Becoming Part 2-_

'You walk out of this house; don't even think about coming back!'

Buffy closed her eyes as if they could push out the painful barrage of memories that were currently assaulting her mind. She sat on the edge of her bed, careful to avoid making too much noise. She felt like she was sinking into the darkness of her mind and all she wanted to do was claw her way away from her thoughts. So much was lost and so much was broken.

Buffy stood up and busied herself with her bag, hastily stuffing clothes in, all the while keeping an ear open to listen for Joyce's footsteps. When she was finished, she carefully placed the note on her bed, straightened it, letting her fingers slide over the cool paper as if leaving some imprint of herself on it. Then, she grabbed her bag and vaulted out of the window, sliding down the roof and hitting the ground below silently.

She took one last reverent look at the house behind her, the home that had been hers for the last two years. Then she turned her back on it, turned her back on that life and strode across the garden. Vaulting over the fence, she landed in the deserted street outside.

She reached to her neck, fingers found the intricate gold chain and tugged, a curious glowing green stone falling out. Buffy looked at it, a curious reverent smile finding her lips and then gripped it tightly. She was gone before she could blink.

----------------

Buffy stumbled down the street, the strap of her bag digging in to her shoulder painfully. Rain drizzled on her, the sky a murky grey but Buffy liked it. It was wrong for the sun to shine, impossible that it could.

It was early morning but there were plenty of people around but she fought her way through the crowd eagerly anticipating reaching her sisters house. It was the only place she could think of to go, somewhere where she didn't have to deal with what had happened, and where no one could look at her like she'd lost everything that mattered.  
She neared Godrics Hollow and noticed that there was an unusual amount of people out for the time of day, women in dressing gowns and hairnets talking to their neighbours in hushed voices on street corners.

'The Potters…….just the little boy yes…..'

Buffy's eyes widened in fear as the fragments of conversation echoed in her head. Pushing her way past the women and ignoring their irritated tuts of disapproval, she broke into a run. She turned the corner and then stopped.  
The house was in ruins, decimated completely. The house with its big back garden and huge fireplace where a variety of strange and wonderful guests had arrived. Where she had finally been at home, with her sister after all these years. The house where Harry lived, their perfect little family making Buffy wish she could be normal, and have a life like her sister. All gone, the memories wiped out by what stood before her. Buffy dropped her bag suddenly; it fell to the floor and was left behind forgotten as she paced towards the house. A lone figure stood on the pavement; a lone figure clutching a baby to his chest. Buffy stumbled forward, her legs carrying her of their own accord.

"Sirius-" the word lingered on her lips and he turned. The tears on his cheeks were all she needed but she still went forward, legs carrying her over rubble, furniture, dust. She tripped and nearly fell a few times but her legs wouldn't let her stop for long.

She saw him first and fell to her knees beside his prostrate body. It was cold when she put her hand on it, eyes slightly open, a look of slight shock on her brother-in-laws face, a wand clutched in his now rigid fingers. James, who had always looked out for her, always welcomed her into his home and had become like the brother she'd never had.

But she couldn't linger by him, once again her legs were carrying her forward, regardless of the fact that her mind was screaming no. And there she was, a crumpled form looking so defenceless and vulnerable, something Lily had never been. Lily had always been strong, a fighter in her own right. But she had been reduced to something didn't know now, something so foreign that for a wild moment Buffy thought it couldn't possibly be her sister.

But it was, and she knelt beside her, turning over her body with one shaking had. She was pale, eyes closed, mouth ajar like she was about to speak but of course she wasn't. The rain drizzled on her face, tiny raindrops pattering down on it. Buffy tried to wipe it with her sleeve but it was useless, everything was now. She clung to her sister's cold slender body as she wept; holding it tightly to her as if there was something to gain from it. In that one night everything was lost. Angel was gone, Joyce, her friends and now James and Lily. She had nothing left.

When she was finished, Buffy wiped her face with her wet sleeve and stood up, taking one last lingering glance at her sister. Then she turned and climbed out of the wreckage. She had one thing left. She had to be strong now, for Harry, if for nothing else.

"Give Harry to me," Buffy said, commanding her voice to keep steady. Sirius turned to her, fear was in his eyes, but right then Buffy didn't give a damn. She didn't know him anymore; he had been transformed from a familiar face into something alien and threatening.

"Give him to me," Buffy said again, shaking slightly from the cold and her grief. "He's my nephew Sirius, give him to me." Sirius didn't speak but clung to his nephew.

"God damn it Sirius!" Buffy yelled suddenly, furiously. "Give him to me before I have to pry him from you. It's over."

"He's my godson," Sirius said coldly, fear disappearing from his eyes.

"And a nice life you'll make for him Azkaban," Buffy said scathingly. "Because that's where you're going isn't it?" It was a cheap shot but it worked. The fear flickered back into his eyes before the shutters went down.

"I'm not letting you take him back to America," Sirius said bitterly. "He belongs here, with me and Remus and other wizards. I can take care of him, I can be his family."  
"What part of you doesn't understand?" Buffy yelled back at him. "You – are – going – to – Azkaban. You're dead Sirius, or as good as. No one's gonna believe you; they all think you were the secret keeper. I wish I could help you but you know what my word's worth. It's over. Give Harry to me. I'm his family; I'm all he has now." Sirius turned his back on her, still holding Harry and rocking him gently.

"I can't," Sirius said brokenly. "He's all I have left."  
"He's all I have left too," Buffy murmured. "I need him Sirius, give him to me."

"What happened?" Sirius asked, still not relinquishing his grip on Harry. "Did something happen?"  
"Angel……Angel is dead," Buffy said, her voice trembling and a few tears escaping. "I need Harry, Sirius please."  
Sirius turned to her, looking like he was going to say something, and then Buffy remembered who he was to her. Her friend and someone who had loved Lily just as much as she did. Someone who needed her help. But before he could speak a loud crack sounded and they both turned to see who had just apparated.  
"Hagrid," Sirius said a trace of fear once again in his voice. Buffy didn't understand why, she glanced at him but he was staring straight at Hagrid.

"Is it true?" Hagrid asked anxiously. Wordlessly Sirius nodded. "Lily and James, I can't believe it." He too climbed through the wreckage, reaching the bodies. Ever so carefully he lifted Lily, carried her body and placed it next to James. Then he clambered back over the ruins, brushing away his giant tears.

"Yeh have ter give Harry ter me," Hagrid said slowly, looking at Sirius. "Dumbledore's orders. I have ter take Harry ter him." Now Buffy understood.  
"He's my godson Hagrid," Sirius said, holding Harry tightly, too tightly as he woke up and began to cry. "Lily and James would have wanted him to live with me….or Buffy," he added grudgingly.  
"Be tha' as it may," Hagrid said apologetically. "I'm jus' doin' what Dumbledore said. I'm sorry Sirius, Buffy. I'm sorry."

"Please Hagrid," Buffy pleaded. "Just leave him with me. I'll keep him safe."  
"I can't Buff," Hagrid said sadly. "Dumbledore said to bring him directly to him." Very slowly he came towards Sirius and took him from his arms. Sirius kissed him on the forehead roughly before he turned away to stare up at the steely sky.

"Take my motorbike," he said quietly. "It's safer for Harry. I won't need it anymore."

Buffy stared at his tense back before coming forward to Hagrid.  
"There's nothin' I can do," Hagrid said before she could speak. "Look, Dumbledore didn' know yeh'd be here. Maybe he wants Harry to go ter you. Go and see 'im."  
Buffy nodded, tears now dripping down her cheeks. She leant forward and kissed Harry's cheek gently before Hagrid stood back and apparated away.

Buffy stared at the spot that they had been for a long while after they were gone. Then she turned and stared at Sirius' back again.

"Is there anything I can do?"

He didn't turn to her and she stood nervously, not knowing what to do.  
"There's nothing."  
"You could run," Buffy said, words now struggling to come out. She was so tired.

"There's no point, I can't run forever." The words sounded hollow and were quickly swept away by the cold wind. "I'll find Peter, that's the only chance I've got. Don't worry about me."

"I'm….I'd better go," she said quietly. He turned around and looked at her. His complexion was pale; he was scared of what they both knew he was facing. Buffy came towards him and stood in front of him. Tentatively she put her arms around him and after a pause he slipped his around her waist. They clung together for a long time, finding solace in each other that they knew wouldn't last long.

"I'm sorry Sirius," Buffy said quietly. "I wish I could help. I'm sorry." Sirius didn't reply, just rested his chin on the top of Buffy's blonde head.

"I'd better be going," Buffy repeated before pulling away. She regarded him for a few moments. "I'll see you around…..or maybe I won't…..but take care."

-----------------------

"Harry-"

Harry broke his transfixed gaze over the lake to see his two friends approaching him. Dusk was heavy over the sky, a blanket of darkness covering the sun and its warmth.  
"You must be freezing," Hermione commented, handing Harry a cloak which he gratefully threw around him shoulders.  
"I hadn't…….noticed," Harry said haltingly, resuming his staring at the lake with renewed fervour. "I was just thinking….."  
Hermione looked at him anxiously while Ron also stared across the lake as if he was trying to spot what had fascinated Harry.  
"About You-Know-Who?" Hermione asked tentatively.  
"Not really," Harry said after a pause. "About my Aunt. Dumbledore wrote to her, I'm going there for the summer."

"All summer?" Ron asked in a horrified voice, dragging his gaze away from the lake.  
Harry frowned.

"I don't know," he said dejectedly. "I suppose I'll be there all summer, I mean she lives in California."  
"Do you know what she's like?" Hermione asked, sitting down next to Harry. Ron followed suit. Harry sighed.  
"Not a clue," he said tiredly. "Dumbledore said she's not like Petunia but he hasn't seen her for over twelve years. It's just so strange; I can't quite get my head round it. I mean for nearly all my life I've been stuck with the Dursleys when I could've been with Buffy. And no one told me she even existed! Everyone knew, Sirius, Dumbledore, Lupin, but no one told me."  
"You would've just got your hopes up," Hermione said reasonably. "She does live on the hellmouth like Sirius said."

"Yeah but why now?" Harry said irritably. "I mean she still lives there so why is it okay now?"

"Probably because of You-Know-Who," Ron said thoughtfully. "I mean the Triwizard was really tough, maybe Dumbledore just wants to give you a break."

"Maybe," Harry said moodily. "Maybe he's just using me because he wants Buffy's help again."

----------------

"Moony," Sirius greeted Lupin with a friendly hug when he burst out of the fireplace into Lupin's tiny flat.  
"Padfoot, old friend," Lupin said good-naturedly. "I take it things have begun? The Order's come together again?" Sirius nodded, flopping down into one of Lupin's worn arm chairs.  
"They were ready, they were reading the signs just as we were," Sirius said tiredly, casting a hand over his eyes carelessly. "A little surprised to see me but determined all the same. Dung tried to flog me a couple of dodgy broomsticks but I declined."  
Remus sat down in the other chair and picked up a poker to stoke the dwindling fire. Sirius looked suddenly alert and sat forward in his chair.

"Has Dumbledore contacted you?" he asked in a low voice. Remus shook his head slowly. "Well, you're not going to believe this but Dumbledore's sent Harry to Buffy for the summer."

"Buffy?" Remus exclaimed loudly, brandishing the poker wildly. "What the hell's he done that for?" Sirius shook his head irritably.  
"Not a clue," he said grimly. "I tried to talk him out of it but you know Dumbledore. He had his 'I know best but I'm not telling you why' face on." Remus stared into the fire pensively.  
"Do you think it has anything to do with Voldemort's return?" he asked tersely. Sirius smirked bitterly.

"Buffy won't help us if that's what you mean," Sirius said harshly. "Dumbledore's a fool if he thinks she will. Maybe if he hadn't kept Harry from her….but not now. She made up her mind about us when Lily died."

------------------------

"Tell Kennedy that's not what I want," Buffy said irritably, gesticulating wildly. She paced the apartment, her mobile phone clamped to her ear. "Look, Will, I know she's your girlfriend but that doesn't give her rights over the other girls. I've had some complaints. You're the one in charge down there and you make sure she damn well knows it."  
Giles watched as his slayer listened intensely. Warm Roman air drifted through the apartment, the balcony doors thrown wide open.  
"You broke up? Oh Willow I'm sorry…..Look I'll move her, she can go to Cleveland, she won't be able to move with Faith on her back……No I want to do that, I only left her there so she was with you……okay I'll call you when it's sorted…….love you too…..bye."

She pushed a button on her phone and placed it on the coffee table.  
"Kennedy has been throwing her weight around," Buffy said in answer to Giles' questioning glance. "She and Willow have split and I'm gonna send her to Faith for some…discipline. Should be good for her."  
"I agree," Giles said. "Now we need to discuss the slayers in Africa. Xander said he's having trouble with finding a-"

The doorbell rang cutting him off short.  
"I bet that's Dawn," Buffy said annoyed. "She said she was staying at Gianna's. She must've forgotten something. And her key apparently."

She strode to the door and opened it wide.

"Do you have any idea what the time-" Her voice died in her throat as she beheld the man who stood on the threshold of her apartment and a hand flew to her mouth.  
"Hello Buffy," Dumbledore said quietly.

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	3. Chapter 3

Well loads of review replies to follow (sorry bad British grammar) so sorry if you just wanna get to the chapter! This one should clear a lot of thing up so I can get on with the story. Thanks for the masses of reviews and please please review this one too!

**Thanks to: **

Manticore-gurl071134 – feel free to post this on your site, but can you let me know the address for the site?

Queen of the Caribbean – I hope this unconfuses it again for you! If you have any questions, feel free to email me

Erak – Buffy didn't tell any of the Scoobies about her past – there will be more on that in this chapter

Goddessa39 – this is post Buffy season 7 but before the Angel team take over Wolfram and Hart. Know it doesn't quite fit with canon but just go with it for the purposes of this fic!

LilGreenImp – Glad you liked, the Lupin thing isn't so much dislike as resentment. I think I'm gonna get him in there a few more times so hopefully that will be developed. Like the name by the way!

Panther28- Dawn is around 17 in this fic, I'm saying that tentatively in case something drastic happens and I have to change it. And she's not the aunt as you'll see in this chapter, she's a vague second cousin or something confusing like that!

Ztacel – not a Buffy/Sirius fic I'm afraid! Harry's gonna have difficulties with his Aunt, not for long but they're relationship won't be perfect. I don't have the patience for long term resentment like in other lost relative fics though!

Just me – glad you liked the flashback, I've written a few others to slot in there so hopefully they will go down well too! I figured that Buffy as a anonymous muggle wouldn't be much worth as a witness for Sirius, especially against someone like Dumbledore.

TheCharmedOne – I sort of have a pairing in mind and it's not Buffy/Remus, though I like the idea.

Dreamer Child – lol course I remember you, you were one of my fave reviewers! But I'm sorry, definitely not Buffy/Sirius, I'm not tired of the pairing but I think that people might get a bit tired of seeing the same thing from me over and over

David J. Oates – thanks for the review, gave me some stuff to consider. My formatting annoys me too, it's all perfectly laid out on word when I write (my paragraphing is actually pretty good) but when I upload it onto it goes squiffy. And thanks for the tips but I really don't have the technical knowledge to repair it, as long as it's readable its gonna have to do I'm afraid. I will take the advice about the narrative; I'm more of a dialogue writer so I will try to improve!

Becks89 – ah no chapter of mine is gonna make up for the missing of HP6! I feel really bad for you, but maybe if you can get to a computer you can hear from friends what happens at least. And also, you'll be in South Africa so that pretty much makes up for it, is it a World Challenge thing? Anywho, back to the story, no Sirius/Buffy pairing, I've done it to death and refuse to write it again. The actual pairing is a big secret and shall stay that way til the end. The Harry/Hermione thing is in consideration, might do it for you in exchange for many many updates! But for now, here's my update so you owe me yours!

**Also: **LizaGirl, mz.sammiz, CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur, Story Oracle, CharmedChick, gaul1, Mama T, Mari, General Mac, Meaghan, cilou, zayra, CelticHeiressFiona, vixen519, N Ashton, Botticelli'sVenus

**Chapter 3 **

Buffy regained her composure as quickly as she could.  
"Albus," she said coldly. "What are you doing here? This really isn't a good time."  
His light blue eyes took in the tense stature of Buffy and Giles.  
"May I come in?" he asked genially. Buffy stepped aside for him to pass without a word.

He stood in the living room, looking as if he had stumbled in from another world.

"This isn't a great time," Buffy repeated, her voice strangely empty and cold. All colour had drained from her face and her hands were shaking very slightly. Dumbledore's eyes swept over the weapons laid out of the modern coffee table, alongside the tiny mobile phone.

"I see that," he said shortly, almost apologetically. "But I need to talk to you about something important." He took a seat on the cream sofa and his eyes flicked to a bemused Giles. Buffy caught the action.  
"He can be trusted," she said flatly. "Besides you've got about two minutes before I ask you to leave."

Dumbledore looked up at her for a full minute before he spoke.  
"It's about Harry," he said, his eyes piercing hers. She was suddenly alert.  
"Is he okay?" she asked sharply. "What's happened?"

"Voldemort has returned," Dumbledore said slowly. Buffy barely reacted, her hand loose at her side twisted into a fist.  
"When?" she said in a voice that was just a whisper.  
"Less than two weeks ago," Dumbledore replied. "Harry was witness to it; one of his schoolmates was killed at his side."

Buffy swallowed painfully before speaking again. Both her hands tightened into fists

"Leave now," she said tightly. "Get out." Dumbledore's eyes widened in surprise.  
"I'm sorry," he said gently. "But I need to-"

"Please just leave," Buffy said in a hard voice. Giles came forward and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Buffy," he said softly. Buffy didn't look at him.

"Giles leave it," she murmured, her voice wavering only slightly. "You don't know, okay? Albus, just go. I can't- I don't want to do this again. I'm out of it. This is your fight and you can fight it yourself."  
"Harry's wants to come and stay with you," Dumbledore said, eyes connecting with Buffy's. "For the summer, he wants to come to Rome."  
"So Rome's okay, but Sunnydale wasn't?" she asked. "And now I'm okay to look after him too? I bet you've got no other choice. Well maybe right now's not a good time for me, in case you haven't noticed, I have a life here, a life which takes a lot of attention. So right now I really can't spare any of that for you Albus."  
"I went to Sunnydale," Dumbledore said slowly. "I went there first to look for you and I saw what you did. And then I found out about the slayers, what you did for them."

Dumbledore reached into his robes and pulled out a photo. He handed it to Buffy and she looked at it for a long while. Then she looked up and her eyes were blazing.  
"How are Fabian and Gideon, Albus?" Buffy said quietly, furiously. "And Edgar Bones? How about Marlene McKinnon? And now that I mention it, how's Sirius? How'd Azkaban work out for him? I bet he's having the time of his life. How about Lily and James? My sister? She didn't do too well either."  
Giles felt the tension trembling in his slayer through the hand on her shoulder. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her this furious, this incensed. And a sister….?

"They're dead," Dumbledore said heavily, eyes lifting. "We both know that. But Harry is alive and he needs you."  
"He needed me thirteen years ago," Buffy said in a hard voice. "But it didn't matter then did it Albus?"

"I have made a lot of mistakes in my life," Dumbledore said after a pause. "I am only human after all and being human gives me that handicap. But I stand by my decision to send Harry to Petunia. You could not have looked after him then, you weren't ready. But now, he needs you, he needs his godmother. I know you better than you think Buffy and I know that you won't refuse him this."  
Buffy stared at Dumbledore for a long time before her shoulders slumped defeated.  
"You shouldn't be doing this," she said tiredly. I don't need this; I put all that behind me a long time ago. I won't fight your war for you."

"I'm not asking you to," Dumbledore said slowly. "I'm asking you to give Harry a home and a family."  
"If I say no?" Buffy asked wearily.

"Then he goes back to Petunia," Dumbledore said flatly. Buffy turned away, knocking Giles' hand off of her shoulder.

"What's he like?" Buffy asked in an odd voice. Dumbledore's face softened.  
"He's a fighter," he said softly. "He just escaped from Voldemort for the fourth time. He has his parents' habit of falling into trouble. The same habit you always possessed."  
"When's he coming?"

"Three days," Dumbledore said.  
"I'll meet him at the airport," Buffy said, deliberately not looking at Dumbledore. He nodded, stood for a few moments like he was going to say something and then disappeared before Giles' astonished eyes.

"What the bloody hell was that about?" he said in an awed voice.

----------------

Buffy walked across the room with short shaky steps to slump down into one of the soft sofas. Giles followed her and also sat himself down.  
"What's going in?" he asked bewildered. Buffy stared at her clasped hands for a long time before looking up at him.  
"You think you know me by now right?" she asked tiredly. Giles nodded. "Well there's a big part of me that you don't. I wasn't always the person I am now." Giles raised an eyebrow expectantly.  
Buffy began to speak, slowly, stumbling sometimes but Giles didn't interrupt until she'd finished the whole story.

"I wasn't born in America; I was born in England, born an Evans, Buffy Anne Evans. I went to primary school in England, I grew up there. I had two sisters, Lily who was six years older than me and Petunia who was nine years older than me. Lily was my favourite, when I was tiny she was my idol. I never really got on with Petunia, maybe she was just too much older, I don't know.

Anyway, when Lily was twelve, she got a letter from a school, a Wizarding school. As you can probably imagine, my whole family freaked out, we didn't even know that magic really existed. We weren't wizards, we were muggles, non-magical people, but apparently Lily was.

And so she went to this school, Hogwarts it's called and she learnt magic, learnt to be a fully fledged witch. It was different magic to Willow, not Wiccan and she used a wand. Me and my parents were so proud of her, of what she was. She was so talented and so smart. Petunia was never happy for her, she despised her for it, jealous I think of the attention she got from my parents.

While Lily was at Hogwarts, a big-bad was rising in the Wizarding world, a man named Lord Voldemort and his group of Death Eaters were attacking, trying to wipe out all of the wizards of non-magical parentage so that the pure blood wizards could rule. They were taking out the families of wizards and my parents were afraid for my life. They sent me away, my Aunt Joyce and Uncle Hank were going to America to live and when I was twelve, I was sent with them. I never really spent much time with my parents after that, they were killed when I was thirteen and Joyce became my mother in all but DNA. I still saw my sister occasionally, she came to visit when she could and when I was fourteen my sister married a wizard named James Potter. I was bridesmaid at their wedding.

Then two years on, their son was born, Harry, and I was his godmother. It was a dangerous time for them and I wanted to help. I'd just been called as slayer so I went back, joined the fight against Voldemort in the hope that I could protect my sister, my brother in law and my new nephew. Joyce thought I was just visiting my sister, she never knew what Lily was.

I joined their secret society, led by Albus Dumbledore and together we fought the big bad. I've never fought anything like it, these were people, Giles. Human beings killing each other, and for what? Nothing that I could comprehend. There was corruption everywhere, so much fear. Pure hatred, pure evil all contained in a human wrapper. For once it wasn't black and white, I was fighting human beings, not demons and it was terrifying. Their world was torn by this war. So many died but Lily and James always escaped, always got away.

But one night, the same night that Angel brought forth the Acathla; Voldemort tracked them down. He killed James when he tried to fight him and then he turned his wand on Lily. Lily died protecting Harry but when Voldemort turned his wand on Harry, his curse rebounded on him and he was destroyed. My sister died to save Harry and that protected him.

I went to England that night, after I killed Angel. I had to get out. Mom….Joyce had thrown me out and I wanted to start again. I couldn't come to you, it hurt too much but I wanted to be with my sister.All I found when I got there was their house in ruins and their bodies lying in the rubble. They were dead. And James' best friend, Harry's godfather Sirius was holding Harry. I told him to give him to me, I wanted to take him away, he was all I had left at that point. The one little fragment of life worth hanging onto. But Dumbledore took him away. I went to Dumbledore and asked to take my godson away. I wanted to come back here, to put things right with all of you and I wanted to do right by my sister by taking care of Harry as best I could. But Dumbledore said it was too dangerous for him to live on the hellmouth and he gave Harry to Petunia who despised him as much as she had hated Lily. I lost everything that night."

"Why did he give him to Petunia?" Giles asked, trying to process everything. "If she hated him and he didn't want him to come here then why not give him to another family?"

"Dumbledore always said Voldemort would be back," Buffy said heavily. "And he was proved right. After Lily was killed, Dumbledore invoked ancient magicks using the protection of love that she had laid on Harry to make sure that if he had a home wherever her blood resided, nothing could hurt him there."  
"So he had to go to you or Petunia," Giles mused. "But Buffy, why did you never tell me this? I've known you for years now, I thought you would've trusted me."  
"It had nothing to do with trust," Buffy assured him hurriedly. "It was because it hurt. Everything just crashed down on me at once, Angel, Lily, James and then Harry. It was easier if you guys never knew, then you'd never ask and I'd never have to talk about it. I made the decision that when I couldn't have Harry, I'd close that part of my life. But I guess it always finds you."

"What are you going to tell the others?"

Buffy sighed and twisted her hands in her lap, enclosing a crumpled photo within them.  
"What I told you I guess," she said. "Harry's arriving in three days, which doesn't give me much time. Dawn needs to know, Xander, Willow. Anyone else can wait. I need to figure out what I'm going to tell Dawn."

"Where does she come into this?"  
"She's my cousin," Buffy admitted. "Not sister. Hank and Joyce are her parents. But she became my sister and I love her like I loved Lily. She doesn't know about that stuff though, she thinks I'm her sister. Guess the monks couldn't make another Evans. Another thing I've got to figure out." Buffy looked directly at Giles. "I'm sorry Giles. I lied to you for a long time and I'm sorry."  
"I can't say I'm thrilled about it, but I understand," Giles said carefully. "There are parts of my life before I knew you that I've kept for myself."  
"When you had punk hair and listened to Pink Floyd?" Buffy asked, a wicked grin lighting up her face, which, despite its twenty eight years, still retained the youth of a twenty year old. "Sorry Giles but your secret's out, we've all seen the pictures. Giles chuckled good naturedly.  
"So, your godson is coming here in three days. Will he know about you?" Buffy shrugged, the smile lingering on her lips.  
"Probably," she said thoughtfully. "I mean, he needs to know what I am and what I do I guess." She smiled involuntarily. "Despite all the shit that comes with it, I'm actually excited Giles. I mean there's all this other bad stuff that's happened but wow, my godson coming to me after all this time." Her face fell. "Oh god Giles, what if he hates me? What if I can't pull off being a cool aunt?"

Giles cuffed his slayer lightly.  
"He won't hate you," he said automatically. "Stop panicking. The only thing you need to think about is what you're going to tell Dawn. And Xander and Willow."  
"The truth," Buffy said grimly. "It's about time."

She unclenched her hands and a crumpled photograph fluttered out. A dark haired boy looked out of it, reaching up to scratch his nose before smiling uncertainly at the camera.

-------------


	4. Chapter 4

I've been so stressed lately what with exams and all that I've had no desire to write anything which is annoying. This is the last of my pre written stuff so you're gonna have to bear with me for a while. Hopefully my updating should be more regular when I finish exams next week.

P.S Sorry if the formatting of this is a complete mess, I've been trying to fix it for ages but it just won't work. I do know how to paragraph and write dialogue, it's just the document manager keeps screwing it up. Sorry!

**Thanks to: **

Charmed-angel4 - Dawn's slightly younger than that, say about 17 or 18. I know it doesn't quite work but I've meddled around with the timeline to make sure Buffy fits in with the HP verse.

Jackie – I'm so sorry but I was on holiday when I got your review and so couldn't send you the chapter! I hope you got to read it anyway!

Erak – Nope, Buffy's feelings remain the same towards Dawn and Joyce. I mean for me to change that would be mad, completely OOC after Buffy gave her life for Dawn to live. As far as Buffy is concerned, Joyce brought her up and she will call her mom. And Dawn is her sister; she was brought up with her. As for Sirius and Remus, it's sort of complicated. There's a lot of hostility there because she left but I don't want to go too much into it because hopefully things relating to that will becoming clear later on. And I loved the long review!

Becks89 – Maaasive review! I'm not sure about the Dumbledore protection spell stuff, need to check OotP, you could be right, but can't be bothered to get it right now! A bunch of my friends did World Challenge to Costa Rica last summer and loved it so I hope you have a good time too! As for the pairings thing, I'm so torn right now. I had decided one way but now am worried I will upset too many and then I start thinking about another pairing which really appeals to me! Argh, if I get really torn I might email you for advice if you don't mind. If you want to be surprised then that's okay, but if not, I could do with some help! And update TYE!

Botticelli'sVenus – Ah poor you, I'm glad the chapter helped! Hope you're feeling better!

Just me – the Evan's thing was a last minute addition but something I've been thinking about. It might be a later storyline, I don't know yet! Thanks for the review!

David J.Oates – I like the ideas about the fighting and I've been thinking about it and thinking about how to get round the underage wizardry decree. I'll see how that works out but I agree about the helplessness thing. Scooby confrontations is gonna be in a while. I decided to put the initial Buffy telling them scene aside and, in a few chapters time, show the meeting between Harry and them. I hope people aren't too disappointed.

I have discovered my formatting problem – I'm using MS Word. Most of my stuff is written up on here so I'm gonna leave it. It annoys me because my paragraphing isn't bad when I write the stuff, but at least its readable I guess. If you wanted to beta the formatting that'd be good but if you can't then don't worry.

Thorn of blood – bless you for reviewing since you hate the genre! Seriously though, if you aren't going to like it then it would make me happier if you don't read it and just read redeemed when I update. I want you to like what I write and not feel obligated to review. If you hate it, then just leave it!

**Also: **CelticHeiressFiona, Swishy Willow Wand, Goddessa39, General Mac, vixen519, manticore-gurl071134, Maleficus Lupinus, spikesanguination, gaul1, sierra, gatesy

**Chapter 4 **

Harry dragged his trunk behind him roughly, the bottom scraping on the linoleum floor of Leonardo Da Vinci Airport in Rome. The signs ahead pointed him towards the arrivals lounge so he turned right and followed the crowd of people, all of them eager to reach it. He was less eager. His goodbyes hadn't been easy. He had so badly wanted to stay the summer with the Weasleys but at least now he understood why he couldn't. He didn't particularly want to stay with any of his relatives any more, Petunia had been enough and Sirius didn't seem to have much more love for Aunt Buffy.  
The glossy arrivals sign hung ahead and he passed through the archway into the brightness of the arrivals lounge. It was full of people, Italians, waving excitedly at their friends and relatives who came through. No one was waving at him, Harry realised sinkingly, no smiling version of his mum, just taller and more muscular since she was a slayer. No one.  
He pulled his trunk further along and then sat in one of the curved seats, feet resting on his trunk. He was absolutely exhausted from travelling all the way as a muggle. Flying really wasn't all it was cracked up to be, Harry decided grumpily, not in an aeroplane anyway. And now his aunt was late.

People began to leave the arrivals lounge, heading to their homes or hotels but Harry still sat alone.  
It felt like a long time had passed with him just sitting there but when he looked at his watch it had only been a few minutes. A few people passed and threw him pitying looks which made him feel like cursing them, but there was no Aunt. A tiny blonde woman walked towards the lounge now, an early-twenty-something he decided dejectedly and not his Aunt. His Aunt would be tall, built with bulging muscles, all used for fighting demons he decided and much older looking  
He was proved wrong however when the blonde woman halted in front of him.  
"Harry?" she asked softly. He stood up hastily, nearly falling over the trunk under his feet. A huge smile blossomed on her face and she leaned forward to clutch him in a bone crushing hug.  
"It's been a long time," Buffy said beaming at him. "To say you've grown since I last saw you would be a huge understatement." Harry smile, feeling slightly awkward with the deep level of scrutiny this woman was giving him.  
"You are my Aunt Buffy right?" he said suddenly, his face reddening. "I have a lot of enemies…you know how it is…."  
"You have no idea," Buffy said shaking her head. "Yes I am Buffy, less of the Aunt. Figure we might as well get to know each other on a friend basis. Dumbledore gave me this." She showed him a picture of himself and Harry relaxed.  
"Sorry, but I had to check," he said apologetically. Buffy nodded.  
"Course you did," she said comfortably. "Sorry I'm late by the way. Something you'll get used to I guess. Come on, let's go."  
She hefted up his trunk easily and he followed her obediently out of the airport where a taxi was waiting. She put the trunk in the boot and they climbed into the back.  
"We can't really talk in here," Buffy said quietly to him, once they had pulled out and begun driving. "We'll wait til we get to my apartment."

They drove through the bustling streets of Rome, Harry barely taking everything in. A pale sunshine lit up the faces of the Italian people that filled the city. Harry had never been on holiday before; the Dursleys had never taken him anywhere. Now he could see why people actually went.  
He turned and glanced at his Aunt and saw that she was watching him, a small wistful smile on her face. She caught his gaze and blushed slightly.  
"Sorry," she apologised. "I just can't get over the fact that it's you, Harry, my godson after all this time. I thought I'd never see you again."  
"It is pretty strange," Harry agreed, grinning. "I mean up til about a week ago I thought Petunia was my only living relative. Buffy's face darkened.  
"Not my choice," she said grimly. "Hey, we're here." The taxi drew up outside a large white apartment block, sunny and drenched in flowers climbing the walls. It was idyllic.  
Buffy paid the driver and with a quick 'grazie,' she took his trunk and led him into the apartment block. They climbed stairs to the second floor and Buffy extracted a key and let them into her apartment.

She led him into the living room which was decorated in a modern style, clean marble floors, light coffee coloured walls and large over stuffed sofas.  
"Mi casa es su casa," Buffy said proudly. "This is what I'm calling home nowadays and what you'll be calling home this summer." She put down the trunk and led him further in. the living room had a small kitchenette attached and various doors led off of the airy room.  
"It's amazing!" Harry said impressedly.  
"I indulged," Buffy said brightly. "Last few years we've had money trouble but that's all sorted now and I wanted to splurge. Come on, sit down. We've got so much to talk about."  
They sat on opposite sofas, a glass coffee table between them. A silence fell and Harry couldn't think of a thing to break it. Buffy laughed nervously.  
"Guess we really are family," she said smiling. "Awkward silences and all. Okay here we go? How have you been for the last thirteen years or so?" Harry smiled; he liked this woman already, even though he wasn't entirely comfortable with her yet.  
"Alright I suppose," he said reflectively. "Growing up with the Dursleys hasn't been fun."  
"Petunia's still a tight-assed bitch?" Buffy asked efficiently and Harry's eyes widened and then he laughed.  
"I guess she always has been," he said raising his eyebrows. "It doesn't matter anymore really, I mean summers aren't great but when I got my Hogwarts letter it was my ticket out."  
"How long have you been there?" Buffy asked lounging back on the sofa and curling her feet up under her.  
"Four years now, I go into my fifth year in September."  
"And you like it?" Buffy asked. Harry nodded vigorously.  
"It's my favourite place in the whole world when people aren't trying to kill me," he said wryly. "I've got some really good friends there."  
"I met my best friends at school," Buffy said reflectively. "Of course, I hated the place. So I blew it up." Harry looked at her oddly, not sure if she was joking or not. Buffy grinned.  
"No, I really did," she said lightly. "On my graduation day. Of course there was a big demon snake in it so I had an excuse." Harry didn't know whether to laugh or look sympathetic so he settled for smiling indulgently.  
"I've got no plans to blow up Hogwarts," he said.  
"That's good to hear," Buffy said comfortably. "I wouldn't recommend it. Do you make good grades?" Harry shrugged.  
"They're alright. My best friend Hermione, she's the clever one. If it weren't for her, me and Ron, my other best friend, would be lost. She really enjoys the lessons, and I do too I suppose…just not all of them."  
"That's okay," Buffy said smiling. "There are more important things. Do you stay out of trouble?" Harry shrugged embarrassedly but Buffy seemed oddly pleased.  
"Yeah….well…I try to stay out of trouble," he said ashamedly. "It's just that…well….trouble seems to find me." His face darkened and Buffy noticed the change.  
"You had a rough year didn't you?" Buffy said softly. Harry looked at her sharply and their eyes met.  
"You have no idea," Harry said ruefully. Buffy frowned sympathetically.  
"Really do," she said quietly. "If you need to talk…." She trailed off and he looked at her gratefully.  
"I'm okay," he said, pasting a smile on his face. "I'm fine."  
"You will be," Buffy said, watching him carefully.

A silence grew again and Harry broke it this time.  
"Can you tell me about you?" he asked. He gestured around the room. "Like how you came to be in Rome when Dumbledore said you lived in California. And about being the Slayer?" Buffy grinned.  
"Looong story, I'll give you the highlights," she said amusedly. "Okay so how I came to be here, right. Well last year we had some trouble with an evil thing. The First Evil to be exact, the root of all evil. It had got power and decided that it wanted to wipe out the slayer line. You know the slayer legend, one girl chosen from a bunch of potentials right? Well the First Evil's agents were travelling across the world, killing all the potentials and watchers they could find, so they could get rid of all of them and then me and Faith, the actual slayers. The ones that survived came to us in Sunnydale on the hellmouth."  
"I thought there was only one slayer?" Harry asked in confusion. "You said you and Faith?" Buffy nodded, eyes twinkling.  
"I died for a little while a bunch of years ago," she said brightly. "In that tiny time Faith was called but then my friend Xander brought me back with CPR. Anyhow, all the potentials were in Sunnydale and there was this evil preacher man trying to kill us all. It was crazy. So we came up with this plan. My friend Willow is a mega powerful witch, Wicca though, not your kind, and she used this scythe made for the slayer to call on the power of the all the potentials to make them into fully fledged slayers. All across the world, potentials became slayers. And we took the slayers in Sunnydale right down into the hellmouth and wiped out the forces of evil down there. Confused much?" Buffy asked and Harry nodded fervidly.  
"We did that and then…..something happened and the hellmouth was destroyed. Sunnydale sunk into the ground and now all that's left is a big ass crater. Hence why I'm in Rome." Harry nodded, eyes fixed on his Aunt who was rapidly turning out to be amazing.  
"As for why I'm all moneyed now, that's part of the tale. The first evil's agents blew up the Watchers Council HQ, which is basically a bunch of stuffy British guys – no offence – who train potentials. The headquarters held practically every watcher in the world and their funds were passed onto whoever was left. In this case, me, my watcher and all the slayers. And these stuffy British guys had a lot of money."  
"Why Rome?" Harry asked frowning. "Why not England?"  
"I was travelling and liked it here," Buffy said reflectively. "Me and my friends, we all took part of the world, me and Dawn in Europe, Willow in South America, Xander in Africa, Faith on the new hellmouth in Cleveland. We've got slayers all over, all reporting to me. It makes me feel pretty powerful," she said with a proud smile. Her smile faded. "But that wasn't what you meant was it?"  
Harry met her even gaze.  
"You want to know why I didn't come and get you from Petunia?" Buffy asked tightly and Harry nodded slowly. "And why I didn't stick around? Because I couldn't. I don't trust those people, as far as I'm concerned, I lost my sister so she could save all their skins and then they took you away from me. I helped them and then they turned on me. It wasn't my fight and it wasn't hers. I've been to England and thought about getting you. But what would've been the point, would you have trusted me if Dumbledore hadn't told you about me first? You would've thought I was some wacko."  
"You could've stayed in England," Harry said frowning. "Even if you couldn't have raised me, you could've been there."  
"Don't blame this on me," Buffy said darkly. "You want to blame anyone, blame Dumbledore, it was his choice. I had no choice; I couldn't leave Sunnydale while the Hellmouth was active." Harry rubbed his forehead, fingertips moving over his scar.  
"I'm sorry," he said heavily. "I'm not angry at you, it's just so confusing. The whole thing is." Buffy stood up and walked to the window, staring out over the rooftops of Rome.  
"It's okay, I get it," she said finally. "It's not easy for me either; your eyes – it's like looking at Lily. It's hard…to remember sometimes. Forgetting is easier."

Images flashed through Harry's head; a skeletal figure rising from a cauldron, a man clutching a bloody stump of an arm, Cedrics face, slightly surprised, mouth ajar. He clenched his fists, willing his mind to stop thinking, just stop for a while so he could just be.  
"Forgetting isn't so easy," he mumbled and Buffy turned, concern flooding her eyes.  
"You're right," she murmured and moved over to sit next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Look, this isn't gonna be easy. There's a lot of bad stuff here, bad memories, blame and all of that junk. But let's just focus on you and me and how we've finally got the chance to get to know each other."

_-----------_

_Dear Ron and Hermione,_

_Hope you're having a good summer, I just arrived in Rome, Italy so thought I would write so you know I'm okay. My Aunt is pretty cool, nothing like Petunia, thank god, though I suppose being a slayer means you can't be anything like Aunt Petunia. She's been really nice to me but I think she really misses my mum._

_As for why I'm in Rome, instead of California, turns out my Aunt made her old town fall into a big crater so she moved to Italy. Was thinking about doing the same to Privet Drive but thought Dudley might get stuck in the hole._

_I'm hoping I can find some of the Rome Wizarding community; it would be good to keep up with what's going on where you are. I've sent off for a Daily Prophet subscription so I can read about what's going on, if nothing else. I can't help but keep thinking about what Dumbledore is doing. I wonder what Voldemort's up to. Let me know if you find out anything._

_I'll keep in touch when I can, but I might not be in Rome all summer. Buffy's talking about visiting some of her friends so I might be anywhere in the world. It's pretty exciting. I'd better go, Buffy and I are going out for lunch and then I'm going to meet my other relative, my cousin Dawn._

_Keep in touch,_

_Harry_

-----------

"You all ready?" Buffy asked as Harry came out of one of the four bedrooms in the apartment that was to be his indefinitely. He nodded.  
"Ron's mum worries about me," he said awkwardly. "Just wanted to let them know I'm okay and I got here safely and stuff."  
"Plus you wanted to tell them all the gossip about your new Aunt Buffy," Buffy added, smiling. "No worries. Come on."  
He followed her out of the apartment and down the stairs to the outside.  
"The only way to get around here is by moped," Buffy said, leading him down a ramp into a garage underneath the apartment block. Three mopeds were lined up by the far wall and she led him over to them.  
"I'll get Dawn to teach you how to ride your own sometime," Buffy told him. "But right now, hop on and I'll show you around."

He climbed on behind her and they sped out of the garage, zooming up into the sun drenched cobbled streets.As they drove, she pointed out a variety of things, tourist attractions, good restaurants and places where she'd fought demons and vampires. Finally she drew up in front of a small restaurant where Buffy ordered them salads, wine and freshly baked bread. She extracted a pair of oversized sunglasses and put them on.  
"I don't really know anything about you," Harry said reflectively, tucking into the delicious food.  
"What do you want to know?" Buffy said, raising an eyebrow. Harry shrugged.  
"About your part in my mum and dad's lives I guess. You'd know more than anyone about my mum I guess." Buffy's face darkened and she ran a hand through her wavy blonde hair.  
"She was a good sister. Really sweet, and you could never meet a kinder person. She was always there for me when I needed her. And she was a talented witch from what I hear. Would help anyone if she could. What else do you want to know?"  
"I don't know," Harry exclaimed exasperatedly. He wanted so much to know his parents, if not himself then through someone else. But he never quite felt it, no matter what people said about them he felt as distanced from them as ever. "I never knew her. What she was like?"  
Buffy sighed and stretched in her metal chair.  
"She was a good sister," Buffy said lightly. "I loved her to pieces and I'd like to think she felt the same way about me. She was a way of escaping when stuff was difficult for me." She sighed and pushed the sunglasses to the top of her head so he could see her brown eyes. "This is difficult and strange, I haven't thought about her for a long time. It's easier that way sometimes. My friends didn't know about her and I didn't tell them. That world, it was mine and then when it was gone; there was no one to ask me about it."  
Harry nodded slowly.  
"But you've got me to ask about it now." Buffy's eyes sparkled and she smiled.  
"I do," she said brightly. "I can't tell you how much it means to me to have you here finally. I thought about seeing you so many times but then things got in the way or I was afraid." She paused briefly. "Afraid of you actually."  
Buffy pushed her glasses down again and Harry frowned.  
"Why?"  
"Because you could reject me," Buffy said honestly, pulling at a strand of her sun bleached hair. "You might not have wanted to know me. It was easier thinking that you couldn't know me than knowing that you wouldn't know me."

"But you're stuck with me now," Harry said grinning. "Tell me about your life, what about your friends. What are they like?"  
"Well, me and my best friends, Willow and Xander, go back to high school," Buffy began. "We met on my first day and since then, they've been helping me do my job. The scoobies, our little evil fighting team. They're my strength. Willow's a mega powerful Wicca like I said. She has so much power, sometimes too much, but now she's so in control that she scares me sometimes! And Xander used to be a carpenter but now he's finding slayers in Africa and some of Asia. His girlfriend…or ex-fiancée…or….I don't know what she was; she was killed in the final battle. He misses her a lot but he's healing I think. And then there's Giles, my Watcher. He was my sort of father-figure and he always kept me grounded. Now he's training potential watchers and slayers."  
"How many slayers have you got?" Harry asked interestedly. Buffy considered.  
"Pushing 200 now," she said after a pause. "And there's more to be found, everywhere there's slayers. It's an incredible thing."  
"And you run this thing?" Harry asked in amazement. Buffy smiled.  
"Officially, yes," she said. "Officially, all the girls answer to me since I'm head slayer. I get ultimate authority. But basically it's me, Giles, Willow, Xander and Faith running it. We put in the work for this and we gave up our lives for this cause. I wouldn't do anything without them agreeing to it."  
She glanced at her watch quickly.  
"Wow it's late," she exclaimed. "Come on, Dawn'll be at home. I want you to meet her."

-----------


	5. Chapter 5

Okay exams are all done for now so hopefully I'll be updating more. I have so many ideas for the second part of this fic that all I do is write that bit. But I'm trying to write more so my updates will be more frequent.

I am contemplating taking on a beta reader so if you are interested in beating this story my email is on my profile. Send me a message and I'll check out some of your stuff.

Please review!

Thanks to:

Zaxxon – sorry about the format, it got seriously messed up when I uploaded the chapter

Thorn of Blood – thanks for the review and the support. Are you doing the Harry Potter MUD for Out- I kinda wanted to do the original thing, there will be no Hogwarts whatsoever in this fic which should be quite a change.

Erak – I'm glad you feel like that because the Harry and Buffy bonding is no where near done. Right now he is trying to insert himself into this life but there are a lot of issues which are going to be stirred up next chapter and the few following that.

Becks89 – glad you liked the chapter and thanks so much for the advice. Still hanging on for the update!

Also: CelticHeiressFiona, Lightdemondarkangel, Mama T, manticore-gurl071134, General Mac, Just Me, Raziel Tepes

**Chapter 5**

The first thing Harry noticed when he entered the apartment was a black suitcase with wheels dumped in the living room. Other than that the apartment was still apparently empty.  
"She's been away," Buffy explained, walking across to stand next to the case. "Visiting the slayers in New York. I'll call her."  
Buffy pulled out her mobile phone and pressed a few keys. She lifted the phone to her ear and after a few seconds they heard a tinny ringing sounds coming from one of the other bedrooms. Buffy closed her phone with a snap.  
"Looks like she's here," she said brightly. "DAWN!"

A second passed and the door of the bedroom flew opened and a brunette teenager emerged.  
"I didn't know you were home," she said to Buffy, and Harry noted her distinctly frosty tone. Then she turned to Harry and a wide smile parted her lips. She bounded towards him and threw her arms around him in a hug. He returned it cautiously, not used to so much physical contact from virtual strangers.

"I'm your cousin Dawn," she said brightly. Then she frowned. "Well not your cousin because Buffy's your aunt and she's not actually my sister, but I guess we're something like cousins anyway…" she babbled, Buffy watching with an amused expression.

"Yeah, okay," Harry said feeling supremely uncomfortable. "Did you have a good holiday?"

He gestured to the suitcase abandoned in the living room. Dawn turned to look at it as if she had completely forgotten.  
"Oh, yeah that," she said absently. "Trip home, to America. Stayed with Faith for a while at the Slayer camp in Cleveland. Watcher training, you know." Her eyes widened suddenly and she gasped before babbling again. "I mean…I went on holiday, just holiday…..sometimes I say stuff that's…wrong…"  
She broke off, her cheeks reddening.  
"It's okay," Buffy put in, smirking slightly. "He knows who we are."  
Dawn threw Buffy a dirty look.  
"Thanks for the heads up," she said bitterly. Buffy frowned briefly and turned to Harry.  
"I've gotta pick up Giles from the airport. You stay here with Dawn and bond or something." She looked at Dawn. "Look after Harry okay?"

"I can tell him all about you," Dawn said scowling at Buffy again. "I think I've got a few interesting stories…"  
"Dawn," Buffy said in a warning tone. She and Dawn shared an intense stare until Buffy looked away. She gave Harry a small embarrassed smile then picked up her keys.  
Harry felt a sense of inner panic at being left alone with this stranger; albeit he had met Buffy only a few hours ago, but she seemed more, well, sane.

"You'll be fine," Buffy added to him as if she could see his thoughts. She threw him a smile before striding out of the apartment.  
Harry's rising panic had locked his feet to their place and he swivelled, giving Dawn an awkward grin. She didn't seem to feel the same discomfort as him and she began to talk to him.

"It must be weird to be here huh?" she said in a friendly tone. "I mean one minute you think you've got no relatives then you find out you've got a family in Italy. Of course, I kinda pity you for being related to Buffy. I mean you're more related to her than I am."  
Harry opened his mouth to reply with something placating and diplomatic but Dawn carried on.  
"Of course, I can tell you some stuff about Buffy. I mean she was my sister for 18 years and then one day, she's not anymore. Okay so we still have the same blood but not the same parents, and that really changes things doesn't it? You think you know someone but you never really do."  
Harry felt increasingly uncomfortable as this girl, Buffy's sister – or not as the case may have been – basically talked to herself. He began to inch away, wondering if he had to time to get to his wand before she attacked him.  
She looked at him sharply and he froze.  
"Let's talk," she said brightly and Harry nodded immediately, not wishing to upset this crazy girl. She might start crying or something and where would that leave him?

She sat down on the sofa and looked expectantly at him so he followed suit.

"See, the thing about Buffy is that she likes to date vampires," Dawn announced loudly and Harry froze for a moment and then nodded appraisingly, putting an interested expression on his face.  
"But isn't she a vampire slayer?" he asked, sure to keep his voice pleasant as this girl was obviously mental.  
"Oh sure," Dawn said, waving her hand absently. "But that never bothered Buffy. She's always had a thing for the undead. Can't see why myself….though her boyfriends were pretty hot I guess.  
"Really?" Harry said vaguely. Dawn fixed her blue eyes on him.  
"See Buffy gets pretty hung up on guys," Dawn continued. "First there was Angel and she was all swoony about him. And then he died so she was all crying and running away. But then he was alive again and he broke her heart by skipping off to LA. And then there was Spike and he was totally in love with her but she was all pain and love and hate. It was really crazy." Harry wondered briefly if Buffy knew Dawn was a pathological liar and if she did, why she had left him with her. "But then Spike died as well and so more with the weepies."

Harry nodded, his eyes wide with feigned interest. Dawn narrowed her eyes at him.  
"You don't believe me do you?" she said crossly. "I'm not lying, Buffy dates vampires."  
Harry frowned.  
"But she's the vampire slayer," he said confusedly. "Isn't that sort of against the rules?"

"Buffy doesn't follow the rules," Dawn said airily. "She's always done things her own way. Marches to the beat of her own drummer you could say."  
Dawn shrugged.  
"You don't have to believe me, just ask Buffy. She'll tell you." She looked at her suitcase and winced. "Come on, you can tell all about yourself while I unpack."

-

Harry stifled a yawn and forced his eyes to focus through his glasses. It felt like he'd been talking for hours and it had all been about himself.  
"But if there's a bloody great castle then don't people try and go in it? Muggles I mean."

Harry wished that for the first time ever that Hermione was present to make use of her encyclopaedic knowledge of _Hogwarts, a history. _

"Hogwarts has all kinds of charms to protect it against muggles," Harry recited listlessly. "First of all it's unplotable so you can't mark it on a map. It also has anti-muggle spells, like if a muggle sees the castle, all they will think is there is an old ruin with a sign that says 'unsafe' on it. So that keeps out the muggles."  
Giles nodded fascinatedly. Harry stifled yet another yawn. He had been answering his questions ever since he and Buffy had arrived back at the apartment. And before that he had been answering Dawn's slightly more quirky, but still muggle-ish, questions. He supposed he had been the same when he had gone to Hogwarts but Buffy's watcher was incessant, asking questions as if he were planning to write a book about it.

"And there's a Ministry for Magic?" Giles asked, cleaning his glasses feverishly. Harry nodded, resisting the impulse to roll his eyes.  
"Yep, they act as the government for the Wizarding world. They do the same job as Muggle government, but, obviously, they're wizards."  
"Fascinating," Giles breathed. Buffy took the momentary pause as an opportunity to jump in.  
"Okay, Giles, you've quizzed him enough," she said quickly, smiling at Harry. "Give him a break and give the rest of us one as well. You're not here for long, let's not make it a complete snooze fest."  
"Where are you going?" Harry asked.  
"Brazil," Giles answered and Harry was happy to be doing the question asking for once. "Dawn is beginning her watcher training with me. We are going to travel round to the various slayer camps."  
Harry glanced at Dawn who was beaming, apparently thrilled with this new arrangement. Buffy glanced at her watch.  
"We've got dinner reservations," she said. "Giles, do you want to dump your stuff? I'll just change and we can go."

She moved towards her bedroom and Harry followed her, stopping her just outside the door.  
"Is something wrong?" she asked concernedly. Harry shook his head emphatically.  
"It's just-" he paused and then decided to just jump in. "Did you used to go out with vampires? Because that's what Dawn said and I didn't know if I was supposed to believe her or not but I just wanted to ask….because then I started wondering – does she have mental problems or something? Not that that isn't okay but I just wanted to know…."  
Buffy looked over to Dawn who was sitting on the sofa. Dawn looked up and threw her a contemptuous glance. Buffy bit her lip, deep in thought for a second, and then she lifted her eyes resignedly.  
"Okay, it's true. I went out with a vampire or two in my time. Dawn wasn't lying."

Harry was completely bewildered and dimly began to wonder about whether Sirius had a point about the safety of being with Buffy.  
"Umm…" he said, struggling to know what to say. "Isn't that a bit…wrong?"

Buffy couldn't help but smile.  
"I wouldn't recommend it," she said wryly. "But it isn't what you thought. Your run of the mill vampire has no soul. But both the vampires I dated had souls. They had consciences and they didn't kill people." She paused. "Look this so isn't the time. We can go through the ins and outs of my relationships at another time if you don't mind."

Harry was still confused but he didn't want to make his aunt angry with him on his first day with her.  
"I'm sorry," he said hastily. "I just…was confused."  
Buffy grinned.  
"It's okay," she assured him. "Look Dawn's mad at me right now. Justifiably, since I lied about us being sisters for almost her entire life. But right now she pretty much hates me, and so she told you that stuff to piss me off." She gave him a half smile. "She'll come round eventually. Now I have to get ready."  
Buffy disappeared into her room and Harry was left feeling confused and headachy. He was already a bit uncomfortable about being here where he was a stranger but now he just felt like a burden, a complete inconvenience to Buffy and her entire world. A secret which should've just stayed in the closet where it belonged.

His scar prickled and Harry rubbed it irritatedly. It was a regular occurrence nowadays; Voldemort's rise meant it hurt most of the time. But right then Harry felt it was yet another thing to add to the ever growing pile of things that were bad in his life.

-

Harry wouldn't have thought it possible but he actually managed to enjoy the dinner that evening. Sitting around a table listening to some of the best slayer stories the three could come up with was a pleasant way to pass the evening, and even though Dawn was cold to Buffy, she was warm and friendly to him and he began to warm to her, now that he knew she wasn't mad.

In fact, he had really had a good time; Harry decided happily when he snuggled into bed in his own room that night. Maybe this summer would turn out to be decent, if he could just get over the initial feelings of discomfort. He was a lot better off here than at the Dursleys, if he could just feel like he was part of this life. At least he was well out of all the trouble that might be occurring in England.

The moment the thought crossed his mind, his scar prickled again. Not so far out of it, Harry thought sleepily as he drifted off.

-

Please review!


	6. Chapter 6

Just wanna say a massive thanks to Becks89 who has agreed to be my beta and has been loads of help!

Review please!

**Thanks to:**

CelticHeiressFiona – that was a typo on my part which I've now changed but nice one for noticing!

Razeil Tepes – Spike may feature later in this fic

Tracey – the whole Dawn thing is a bit of a grey area but I'm going with the monks didn't know that Buffy wasn't actually a Summers so made dawn out of her but inserted her into Buffy's life as the daughter of Hank and Joyce.

The-tulip – argh I think we got our wires crossed a bit! Sorry, I was looking for someone to beta my story. I'd like to beta yours but I really don't have the time right now

Just me – the cousin thing was a typo and has been changed

Goddessa39 – yeah that's pretty much it. Dawn's pretty difficult to fit in but I'm going with her being made out of Buffy but as the daughter of Joyce and Hank

Becks89 – thanks so much for being my beta, you did a fab job. I checked with the mothership and she seems to think trumping is an expression so I'm gonna stick with it. Basically it's means beating everything else. I think I'll wait til you're back before I send you the next one as it still needs a few finishing touches.

**Also:** Erak, veri-interesterin-speciesamin, General Mac, WhiteWolf 3, Jackie, Damia – Queen of the Gypsi's, Stephanie04321, Silver Warrior

**Chapter 6**

Harry woke early the next morning and dressed quickly. He stuck his head out of the door and peered into the living room. Only Dawn was up and she was making breakfast for herself.  
"Morning," Dawn called brightly and Harry emerged to see his cousin – or whatever she was – pouring honey onto a stack of waffles. He grinned at her awkwardly.  
"Help yourself to whatever you want," she said offhandedly, sitting down at the breakfast bar and tucking in. Harry poured himself some cereal and joined her. Harry wasn't entirely comfortable around her but she seemed to have none of the same qualms as she started chatting to him immediately.  
They were deep in a discussion about whether Hogwarts was more dangerous than Sunnydale High when Buffy emerged from her room. She smiled to see Dawn and Harry talking. After helping herself to some cereal she joined them, listening to them talk as she ate.  
"Sunnydale High was on the hellmouth," Dawn interjected, stabbing a bit of waffle with her fork. "You can't beat that; every little thing that happened was magnified. This girl got ignored by everyone and so she turned invisible. That doesn't happen at just any school."  
"But Hogwarts is made of magic," Harry reasoned. "There's always the risk of something going wrong and you losing a limb. I haven't gone a year there without putting my life in danger at least once a month."  
"But Sunnydale has vampires and a whole lot of them. They love it there. And it has one of the highest death rates in the world. Well it did before it collapsed."  
"But Hogwarts has gigantic spiders the size of horses in the forest," Harry said trumping everything. "And they eat people."  
"That's a good point," Buffy commented lightly. Dawn threw her a sour look.  
"I don't know why you're agreeing, you nearly died pretty much everyday you went to Sunnydale High," Dawn said coldly. Buffy shrugged.

"Yeah but never from being eaten by a giant spider," she remarked. "A giant snake a couple of times, yes, but no spider."  
"Harry, did you ask Buffy about her vampire boyfriends?" Dawn interrupted loudly. Harry began to feel distinctly uncomfortable. "Did she tell you about how she went out with two of them?"  
"Well you'd know about dating vampires wouldn't you?" Buffy said sharply and then looked like she regretted it. Dawn's cheeks reddened and she pushed herself away from the counter and stood up, storming off into her bedroom. Buffy gave Harry an apologetic look before following her.

-

"What are you playing at Dawn?" Buffy said in a low angry voice, closing the door behind her. Dawn sat on her bed, staring angrily at the floor.  
"I'm not playing at anything," Dawn said frostily, meeting Buffy's glare with equal anger. "What you said was out of order."

"And you telling Harry I had a yen for dating vampires wasn't?" Buffy intoned furiously. Dawn didn't respond but her eyes glittered with anger. Buffy stared at her for a few moments and then softened.  
"Could you give me a break for one second? I know this is hard for you; it isn't exactly easy for me either but it's really hard on Harry. I'm not asking you to forgive me, but at least give him a chance to actually like us before we start shouting the odds at each other over waffles. "  
Dawn stared at her wordlessly for a long moment and then her face softened.

"Does he mean more to you than I do?" she asked quietly. Buffy stared at her and then reached out a hand to push a strand of Dawn's hair back behind her ear gently.  
"Dawnie, I love you so much, you know that," she said gently. "No one is gonna replace you, ever. You are still my sister and I feel the same love for you I always have. But Harry is also very important to me too, and I think he'll be important to you too. He's never had anyone, but now he's got us and he needs us."  
Dawn hesitated for a moment and then nodded.

"Let's make the little time we have left together decent okay? Show Harry what being a Summers is okay?"

Dawn looked away.  
"But you're not a Summers."

"I am your sister," Buffy said insistently. "Your mother was my mother in everything but genetics. Our blood is the same, it has to be or I couldn't have closed the portal with it. You have to remember that." She sighed. "I know it's not gonna be easy and there's a lot of stuff that has to be said but there just isn't the time right now. You're leaving today and I don't want you to go away hating me. When you get back we'll talk, properly, and I'll explain all the 'whys' and 'wherefores'."  
Dawn nodded and pushed back her hair roughly. Buffy bit her lip and went to hug her, but Dawn held her at bay.  
"Not yet," she said gently. "I can't right now."

-

Harry didn't know what Buffy had said to Dawn but when they emerged things seemed better between them. He didn't know how much better because he didn't know them together when things were good but he hoped it wasn't far from this. He hated to be the reason that they weren't getting along.  
The day sped by quickly, Dawn packing, Buffy and Giles discussing business and Harry feeling a little lost. He attempted to keep up with the business they were discussing but generally it involved people he didn't know and demons that he had no clue about. Eventually he went to his room and began to do some of his homework. He was just in the middle of a difficult essay on the uses of unicorn tail hair in potions for Snape when Buffy stuck her head into his room.  
"Giles and Dawn have to go to the airport," she announced. "Coming?"

He nodded dutifully, putting his books aside and joined them in the hallway.  
"Got everything?" Buffy asked Dawn. "Weapons, books, clothes, shampoo?" Dawn screwed up her face to think and then nodded.

"Check to all of the above," she said brightly.

Buffy picked up her case and they made their way downstairs where they hailed a taxi to take them.  
Harry stared out of the window silently as they travelled, eyes moving over the various sights in the same way they had just the previous day on the way from the airport. He felt so lonely and was longing for Ron and Hermione to talk to. It was so difficult being away from his friends in a place where he had no clue what was going on and where, despite what Buffy said, he didn't feel wanted.

The airport loomed ahead of them and watches were checked, making them rush. Dawn and Giles hastily checked their luggage and then turned to Buffy and Harry for their goodbyes. Harry shook Giles' hand politely and then was hugged tightly by Dawn. Buffy and Giles hugged. Dawn looked hesitantly at Buffy before throwing herself on her with a hug. When they separated, they both looked a bit teary eyed.  
"I'll probably see you in Cleveland," Buffy assured her; brushing back Dawn's hair from her face. "Harry and I will go out there when you and Giles get there. It won't be long."  
"Promise?" Dawn asked and Buffy nodded smiling.  
"Be careful," she said softly. "Do what Giles' says and don't take any risks."  
Dawn nodded and then stepped back.  
"Bye," she said quietly, a sad smile on her face. She took one last look at Buffy and then turned and she and Giles were lost in the crowds.

Harry looked at Buffy who was staring at where they had just been with a stricken look in her eyes. She closed them and then shook herself, turning to Harry with a bright smile.  
"We haven't been apart for such a long time before," she said apologetically. "And with everything that's gone on….it's just a bit hard, that's all."  
Harry nodded and they began to walk towards the exit.  
"I'm sorry about today," Buffy said suddenly. "You must've been bored out of your mind, I mean you were studying! It's just I had some stuff to talk through with Giles, and Dawn had to pack and…..well, anyway, it's just you and me now and I have all the time in the world to devote towards getting to know my nephew."

-

All the time in the world, _yeah right_, Harry thought sullenly. A week had passed since Dawn and Giles had left Rome and it had been a slow one. The days hadn't been so bad; they were filled with sight seeing, walks, lunches and other touristy things. Buffy was friendly and kind, wanting to hear all about his life and his friends and telling him about her own life as the Slayer. He noticed she carefully avoided talking about his parents or anything to do with her own involvement in the Wizarding world and he resented this. She was the best source for information about his parents and yet she was withholding everything. And he got the feeling there were other things she was withholding, things that were getting to her, certain subjects she would avoid that were nothing to do with Lily. It was something he only saw when they weren't talking, her face would close over and her pain would be etched over it. He had no clue what it was, but his aunt was struggling with it.

The nights were worse. A few times it had been okay; he and Buffy had stayed in, settled on the sofa with a big bucket of popcorn and had watched old movies, an oddity to Harry as he had never watched much TV with the Dursleys. And those nights were nice and warm, filled with mindless chatter and the warm feeling that you get when you were with family and for a short time at least you were safe.

But there were the other four nights. Buffy was a busy woman, he had discovered. They would eat together and then she would have to go out and be the slayer. He didn't know what that involved but for him that meant a night alone in the apartment, just him and the TV and his homework and letters written to his friends back in England. He hated those nights so much, just him and his thoughts, things he didn't really want to deal with right then. No one to talk to, no one to keep his mind off of things. He had asked Buffy if he could go with her but she always said no, brushing him off with something about how she had to keep him safe. He knew that she had to go, _but he wasn't a child_, he thought angrily, it wasn't as if he didn't know what was out there and how to protect himself. He could even help her but she didn't seem to think he was capable of that. So he was left alone, waiting for Buffy or sleep, whichever came first.

A week after Dawn and Giles had left; Buffy took him out for dinner. He knew it was an attempt at placating him but he still felt bitter. They chatted idly over three courses with an underlying tension which neither one of them addressed until they got coffee.  
"I'm sorry," Buffy said suddenly. Harry, who had been staring into the depths of his coffee, looked at her sharply.  
"About what?" he asked innocently, even though he knew exactly what she was talking about. Buffy looked uncomfortable.  
"About this week, you know, me having to go out and stuff. I'm sorry I had to leave you alone so often."  
She stared at him but he ignored her, waiting for her to talk and wanting to see her squirm.  
"Not being a very good godmother am I?" she said glumly. Harry began to feel sorry for her. He badly wanted this to work and now he could see in her eyes that she did too.  
"No, look, its okay," he said suddenly and she smiled.  
"Come on, I've left you home alone four nights this week," she said ruefully. "That's hardly good."  
"Let me come with you," Harry said eagerly. "I can fight, I could help you."  
"Absolutely not," Buffy said firmly. "I can't put you in danger like that. It's my job not yours. I can't imagine what it would be like for me to go to England and tell them you'd been killed out on patrol with me. They'd kill me."  
"I can do it," Harry insisted.  
"But I can't," Buffy said honestly. "I don't know that I can protect you."  
"I can protect myself," Harry said hotly. "All the other times – it's always just been me. No one protects me when I really need it…"  
He lapsed into silence, cheeks reddening. Buffy looked at him with concern but he avoided her gaze.

"You can talk to me you know," she said quietly. He looked at her finally.  
"There's nothing to talk about."  
Her gaze was sceptical but she didn't pursue it and soon then paid and left the restaurant. They walked home, the night having fallen while they ate and the moon shining down on the cobblestone street. Night was when Rome became truly alive and the streets were vibrant with life. They, however, walked in silence, a discomfort growing between them as they continued.  
They reached the apartment and just as she was unlocking the door, Buffy turned to Harry.  
"Don't push me away," she said gently. He stared at her wordlessly and so she opened the door and reached for the light switch, stopping just before it when she realised the lights were already on.  
"I thought I-" she began absently, stopping when her eyes moved across to the sofa where a man sat. Harry peered over her shoulder and his eyes fell on the same man.  
"Jesus Christ," Buffy swore loudly, throwing up her hands in exasperation. The man looked over at them and grinned at his godson.  
"Good to see you too Buffy," Sirius said mockingly.

-


	7. Chapter 7

Special thanks to my beta Becks89!

Thanks to:

Damia – Queen of the Gypsi's – all the tension between Buffy and Sirius will be explained in this chapter!

Becks89 – hey should be sending you the next chapter by the weekend! Thanks for the help with this one!

Goddessa39 – I'm not saying anything about pairings yet!

Calendar – I'm glad you think it's unique, that's what I was going for since there's so many amazing lost relative fics out there. I agree for you on the Dawn front, the situation is a bit dodgy. I came up with this idea and worked it through and Dawn was sort of an afterthought. Basically the link isn't too important; obviously their blood has to be somewhat the same for Buffy to have closed the portal but beyond that it's irrelevant, except for the fact that Buffy is Lily's sister but not Dawn's. You can imagine it in whatever way you want, know that's not great but I can't even think of unpicking my story to make it work. Hope that's okay.

Violet Star – There really is a plot waiting somewhere but it's not the normal kind of going to Hogwarts and beating Voldemort thing. The first half of this fic is more a getting used to each other thing with a few of the scoobies coming in. the second half will be more story based and there will be some LA stuff but I don't want to go too much into that right now. And here's the (sort of) prompt update!

Also: LizaGirl, CelticHeiressFiona, Lightdemondarkangel, The-tulip, Panther28, Isiwaru, Just me, Mama T, CoffeeJunkie33, General Mac, erak, vixen519, thorn of blood, silver warrior

**Chapter 7 **

Harry stared at his godfather, stunned momentarily. His reaction was nothing compared to Buffy's shock and he had to poke her hard to get her to move from the doorway so they could enter and close the door. Harry was happy to see Sirius, there was no doubt of that, but he wasn't sure that Buffy would feel the same. And he was worried about Sirius' intentions.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked coldly. Sirius grinned and put his feet up on the coffee table. Buffy walked over, pushed them down and sat on the sofa facing him, her body tense.  
"Thought you'd be happy to see me Buffy," he said, ignoring her icy demeanour.  
"How wrong you were," Buffy said bluntly. "Why are you here?"

"I came to see my godson."  
"You've seen him," Buffy said. "Now you can leave."  
"That's not very friendly," Sirius joked but there was a hard edge to his voice.  
"I'm not feeling too accommodating right now," Buffy said. "Must be a side effect of my apartment being broken into."

"I wasn't breaking in," Sirius protested. "I didn't break anything at all. I was just….waiting for you to come home so I could see Harry."

Harry began to feel distinctly worried but he went and sat down next to Buffy. His godfather threw him an encouraging grin.

"I was in the area and thought I'd stop by," he said to Harry. Buffy snorted derisively.

"If by the area, you mean the continent," she muttered irritably. Sirius frowned at her.

"Nice place you've got here," he commented, resting his arms along the back of the sofa luxuriously and placing his feet on the coffee table once again.  
"It's alright," Buffy replied cautiously.

"Step up from Sunnydale," Sirius said, looking round favourably. "Very nice indeed."  
"There was nothing wrong with Sunnydale," Buffy snapped. "And can you get your feet off of my coffee table, please." Sirius obediently put his feet down and threw her a lazy grin.  
"Living in style now I see," he continued regardless. "Good thing. I wanted to make sure my godson was being looked after." He paused and then went on recklessly. "Even if it is by you."  
"Are you doing everything in your power to piss me off?" Buffy said bitterly. "You break into my apartment while I'm with Harry whom I haven't seen for thirteen years, just because you decided to come and see him. And then you insult me!"

"You haven't exactly been welcoming," Sirius shot back. "Thought you'd be happy to see a familiar face! But then you turned away from me a long time ago…"

"Get down off your high horse Sirius," Buffy snapped. "Do you think I really give a damn about seeing you or any of the rest of you people? Harry is the only one I'm interested in seeing and I had to wait thirteen years for it because your people are 'protecting him'! Damn good job you've done of it, leaving him with Petunia. He's a lot better with me than he has ever been with you…people!"  
"You sound like Petunia," Sirius said disgustedly, standing up. "It's easy to see the family resemblance. But then I reckon Harry was probably better with even her than he is with you…."  
"You left Harry with Petunia," Buffy shot back. "That was nothing to do with me. Harry's doing great with me."  
"Right, with you telling him how all his friends are bad people and that we were the ones that killed his mum and dad," Sirius retorted loudly. "Harry belongs in our world, not yours."  
"And it was your world that nearly got him killed!" Buffy yelled. "A number of times! He doesn't need that. I can keep him safe, I can protect him."  
"And we can't?" Sirius shouted angrily. "We're better for him than any muggle could ever be. He can't stay with you."

"He can and he will," Buffy replied, looking for all the world like she was about to throttle Sirius. "He doesn't need to go back to that school anymore, he can stay with me. He doesn't want to have to take all that crap that you lot have given him."  
"Harry belongs at Hogwarts," Sirius bellowed. "And you're not going to stop us from taking him back." Without warning, he yanked his wand out of his pocket. Buffy stared at it, breathing hard and then settled into a fighting stance.

Harry watched the scene escalate, mouth slightly ajar in shock. When he saw Buffy and Sirius face off, he came to his senses and hurried to put himself in between them. Although he and Buffy weren't on the best terms at that point, she was still his family. And although he didn't think Sirius was being particularly fair, he knew that Buffy wasn't being exactly impartial herself.  
"What are you doing?" he asked in amazement. "Can _I_ make some decisions about my life please? Stop fighting!" Reluctantly, Sirius put away his wand and Buffy relaxed.  
"Both of you sit down," Harry commanded and to his surprise they did as he told, looking at him like badly behaved children.

"You two are the only family I've got so I don't want you to fight," he told them severely, pacing in front of them like a drill sergeant. "Buffy, I have to go back to Hogwarts; Sirius, I want to stay here and come back next summer. I need you to compromise, you're both adults. Is that too difficult to do?" They shook their heads shamefacedly. "Then apologise to one another." They looked at him incredulously but he stayed firm.  
"Hard to believe we were friends once," Sirius said eventually. "Remember?"  
"I remember," Buffy murmured, biting her lip. "It's been a long time." Harry looked between them disbelievingly.  
"You two were friends?" he said incredulously. "Are you kidding?" A faint smile appeared on Buffy's face.

"Sirius helped me out," she said to Harry, catching Sirius' eye briefly. "When I was in the Order back then I was having a tough time in Sunnydale. It was good to get away from that, even if it was just leaving one war for another. Sirius was someone to talk to."

"Do you remember how Hagrid always used to joke that we were secretly seeing each other?" Sirius said, shooting a grin at Buffy. Buffy chuckled.  
"What he didn't know was that I was pouring my heart out to Sirius about the love of my life back in Sunnydale," she said grimly.

"Okay so that's a start," Harry said firmly. He folded his arms. "Sirius, tell me about your favourite memory of Buffy."

Sirius gave him an incredulous look but he gazed back firmly.

"Erm…." He said thoughtfully, shooting a dark look at Harry. "Well there was that one night, London, near the docks. Really dodgy area but Buffy and I had been sent to hunt down this death eater that was holed up in a warehouse down there. He wasn't one of the big boys but he had a team of vampires and was taking out a lot of muggles and it was right up Buffy's alley." Harry noticed Buffy watching Sirius with a pensive smile on her face. "Dumbledore told us to take it slow but of course that wasn't us. We climbed up on the roof, it had these giant glass panels and Buffy was inching across one when it started to crack. She was right in the middle and the glass kept making these groaning noises. And so I reach out my arm to her but she can't make it and every time she moves the glass cracks more. So I lean farther and farther over to her and just as I grab her arm the glass shatters and we both fall onto the floor of the warehouse." He was smiling openly now, Buffy too.  
"There was nothing we could do; we landed right in the middle of this bloody great group of vampires and they were all staring us licking their lips since a meal had just fallen out of the sky. And so I start firing curses and Buffy leaps up and starts doing her slayer bit. But there are twenty of them and we're backing up against a wall. And Buffy looks at me quickly and before I can do anything she grabbed my arm and threw the pair of us through a window! And the next thing I know, we're swimming in the Thames!"

Harry looked at Buffy sternly.  
"Now you tell me a good memory of Sirius."  
Buffy stared at Sirius for a few moments, leaning back on the sofa.  
"When Angel lost his soul," she said softly. "It had just happened and we had just figured out why. We'd killed this big demon called the Judge and I'd fought Angelus. I could've killed him then but when it came to it, I wasn't able to. I felt so trapped in Sunnydale; all my friends knew what I'd done. So I went to England, to Lily's house. But Lily wasn't there; she and James had gone out and had left Sirius babysitting. I was gonna just go back to America but he convinced me to stay. And we talked and I told him about what had happened and he just listened the way that only someone who wasn't involved could. And it gave me strength to go back and fight. And I did."  
Buffy looked down at her hands and then up, meeting Harry's eyes.  
"What?" she demanded. "I did as you told."  
He grinned at her.  
"I know, I kinda like the power," he said mischievously. "Now tell me why you aren't friends."  
Buffy looked at Sirius who shrugged.  
"You left," he said flatly. "And I got put in Azkaban. There wasn't much point after that."  
"Even if I had stayed, how would I have helped you?" Buffy asked. "It's not like I could've spoken to you or even seen you."  
"I wasn't the only thing to stay for."  
"No, you weren't. But you were one of a lot of things that I'd lost that night. Angel, Lily, James, you, Harry."  
"You ran out on your responsibilities," Sirius said heatedly. Buffy laughed bitterly.  
"Sirius Black lecturing me on responsibility. Never thought I'd see the day."  
They lapsed back into a tense silence until Buffy ventured to speak again.

"It was hard okay?" she said staring determinedly at her hands. "I was a kid, seventeen years old. And Dumbledore refused to give me Harry. There wasn't enough for me to stay and watch my godson be brought up by Petunia."  
"Why did Dumbledore refuse?" Harry asked tightly, forgetting about Sirius for a second. This was something he had been wondering for a long time.

"Bullshit reasons," Buffy said harshly.

-

Buffy hesitated briefly to catch her breath before thumping on Dumbledore's office door and then opening it immediately.  
He looked up at her as she entered, a quill in his hand paused over the word he had just written. His light blue eyes took in her dishevelled appearance and flushed cheeks.  
"Buffy," he said warmly. She knew that he had been expecting her by the look in his eyes. "Sit down."

"I'd rather stand," she said coldly. She didn't meet his gaze; his eyes were deep with understanding and right then she didn't want to be understood. She had something to do and she had to be strong to do it.  
Dumbledore nodded graciously. "As you wish." He put down his quill and leaned back in his chair, surveying her while she still avoided his gaze.  
"You know why I'm here," it wasn't a question, but a statement. Dumbledore nodded slowly. She looked at him suddenly, meeting his gaze. Stronger men than he would've quailed under the rage in her green eyes but he met it without the expression on his face changing.  
"Where is my godson?" she demanded. She was armed to the teeth and he knew it. He stood up and moved to the window. Dawn was creeping over the hills, low rays of gold spilling out over the countryside. A new day coming to meet them and wash clean all the darkness of the night.  
"He is at your sister's home," Dumbledore answered heavily, his back to her. "Hagrid delivered him there a few hours ago."  
"You sent him to Petunia?" Buffy asked, her voice quivering with suppressed rage. "Are you out of your mind? Didn't you read the will?"

Dumbledore watched the beautiful day dawning before him for a few seconds longer and then he turned to face her.  
"Harry will stay with Petunia, she will raise him," he said levelly. "He will remain there until he is eleven and then he will attend Hogwarts."

"Petunia won't take him," Buffy persisted, staring at Dumbledore as if she didn't know him. "She always hated Lily."  
"She will take him in," Dumbledore said flatly. "I have made sure of it."  
There was a pregnant pause where Buffy digested his words. He waited for the anger that he knew would come.  
"Where do you get off?" she snarled furiously. "Lily wanted him to go to me or Sirius. And since Sirius is on his way to Azkaban as we speak, he belongs with me."

Dumbledore didn't answer and this made her angrier.  
"It's not your decision!" she yelled with all the force of her breath. "You can't control people's lives like this, like you're some kind of God! You don't know anything!"

She wanted to hit him, to hurt him, to do something to change the unfalteringly calm expression on his face. He sighed.  
"Be that as it may, I cannot let you take Harry. It is your sister's duty to take care of him now, not yours. I am trying to what is best for Harry and he needs a home which you cannot provide for him right now."

Buffy was so angry that she was unable to speak for a few moments. She took a couple of deep breaths and regained her composure somewhat.  
"How dare you?" she burst out, her face reddening with fury. "You know that I would lay down my life to protect him. I may be only seventeen but I've proven time and time again that I can take on more than my share of responsibility. I want him to live with me."

"And where will you live?" Dumbledore said heavily. "Do not think me ignorant of what happened yesterday. What kind of home can you give Harry when you have fled your own?"

The tears that had been plaguing Buffy for hours threatened to fall again but she held onto them. She wanted that dignity.   
"I'll find a way," she said through clenched teeth.

"We cannot take that risk," Dumbledore said gravely. "Your godson is precious. At Petunia's he will remain safe until it is time for him to return to his roots. It is not ideal but it is the best possible place for him now."  
Buffy turned away, fists clenched tightly at her sides.  
"Please," she said brokenly, staring at the door, a few tears escaping. "He's all I have left."

She was surprised to feel a few moments later, a hand resting on her shoulder. She turned and met Dumbledore's steady gaze.  
"I'm sorry," he said solemnly. "I know there is nothing I can say, you must be suffering a great deal. I wish things could be different."  
"I've lost everything," Buffy said detachedly  
Dumbledore stared at her impassively.

"I can offer you sanctuary here," he said finally. "For as long as it takes for you to return home or to find another path. Stay with the Order and I will help you with all means."  
"And then I can take Harry?" Buffy murmured. Dumbledore dipped his head.  
"Harry remains with Petunia," his said gently. "He stays in England. You have a rocky path ahead of you, one that will not accommodate a baby and certainly not a child like Harry."

Buffy shifted, removing her shoulder from his grasp and stared at him coldly.  
"I'm not staying here to be controlled by you," she said fiercely. Dumbledore nodded as if he expected it.

"I wish there was another way but I have to do what's best for Harry."

"I'm what's best for Harry," Buffy hissed furiously. She turned away sharply. "I put my life on the line fighting for you people, giving what I could when I could, even though I was striking out time and time again trying to get things right in Sunnydale. You never helped me, when my friends were being killed by Angelus, you never offered to help me, you just let me come here and take out Death Eaters for you. I gave everything I could and you gave me nothing back." She turned back to him. "And now you're denying me the last thing I have left in my life."  
He went to speak but she held up a trembling hand.  
"Stay away from me Albus," she said coldly. "Don't come to me again; don't call on me to do you any favours, I owe you nothing. Stay away from me and stay away from my life. I don't want to know about Harry, I don't want to know about Voldemort. Any of your people come any where near me and I'll kill them."  
She strode across to the door and kicked it open.  
"Buffy-"

She paused momentarily and then strode out.

-

"I would've done anything to keep you," Buffy said hollowly. "You were the last thing I had. But he took that away from me and so I left."

Harry stared at her, his mouth dry. He couldn't understand why Dumbledore would've done that after all Buffy had been through. He had been prepared to put the blame on Buffy for abandoning him but he had never really believed that Dumbledore would've refused to give him to her. But apparently he had.  
"Where did you go after that?" Sirius asked. Buffy looked at him sharply as if she had forgotten he was there.  
"LA. I worked as a waitress for a while but in the end I went back to Sunnydale. It was the right thing to do."

Sirius nodded silently. Buffy met his eyes.  
"If I hadn't had to go to Azkaban, would you have stayed?" Sirius asked quietly. Buffy stared at him for a long moment.  
"Maybe," she said finally. "It would've changed things. You were the best friend I had in England. Maybe I would've stuck around."  
Sirius nodded and she offered him a small smile. And suddenly things were better. Only slightly but Harry could see some of the old friendship still lingering between them.

-

It was a long evening. After things loosened up, the three of them talked and told stories, mostly Buffy and Sirius telling stories about the old days in the Order. Harry had stayed up as long as he could but by the early hours he was nodding off and was forced to go to bed, leaving Buffy and Sirius to talk by themselves.

"So how are you doing?" Buffy asked, looking levelly at Sirius. "Not the censored for Harry version, but the real version."  
"I get by." He took a swig of beer. "Remus has put me up a few times but I got to keep moving."

"Remus. How is he?"  
"Not great," Sirius said flatly. "Having trouble getting a job. No one wants to hire a werewolf." He regarded her for a long moment. "Aren't you going to ask about Azkaban?"  
"I didn't know if I was supposed to," Buffy said calmly. "But if you want – how was it?"

Sirius asked a short bitter laugh.  
"Like living in hell. Everyday a struggle to keep my sanity." He took another drink of beer and Buffy watched him closely. He studied his hands intently. "And you know what the funny thing is? Being outside is just the same sometimes." He looked up at her. "My life stopped for twelve years and when I get out it's a different world. I was 22 when I went in, now I'm 35. I stopped living but no one else did. In my head, I'm still 22. But everything has changed; people have gotten older, I've got older whether I lived those years or not. It doesn't feel like I'm living sometimes, just that I'm a corpse that walks and talks. What place is there for me in the world? What have I got left? Sometimes I wish I'd died beside them, got out in a blaze of glory instead of living like I'm dead."  
Buffy frowned slightly and then tentatively placed her hand on his. He looked at her, mild surprise registering on his face.  
"You've got Harry," she said gently. "He needs you."  
"He's got you now," Sirius said darkly. "What use has he got for a wanted criminal who can't even give him a proper home?"  
"He barely knows me," Buffy interjected. "And he looks up to you so much. You're the closest thing he's got to a father. And….well...you've got me."

Sirius turned his hand so it was holding hers. He looked down at their intertwining fingers.  
"When are you coming home Buffy?" he asked quietly. Buffy looked away.  
"I am home."  
"This place?" Sirius said, looking around him. "This isn't you. This isn't Buffy Evans."  
"Well I'm not Buffy Evans am I?" Buffy snapped, tugging her hand free of his. "This is my home now and my job. I have work that I have to do."  
She stood up and moved to the balcony, standing out in the cool night air and resting her arms on the iron railings. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, the mixed scents of flowers, basil and warm bread filling her lungs. When she opened her eyes, Sirius was next to her.  
"It's not the same anymore," Buffy said detachedly, not looking at him. "Even if I came home, it would just remind me of that. I remember the way it used to be, Lily, me, you, James, Remus, my old friends, half dead and the other half…"  
"As good as," Sirius supplied wearily.

"And who am I to be part of that? The people I knew are different, our youth is gone and all that's left is a bunch of tired old people trying to fight for what we believe in. What's the point?"  
"Harry is the point. He's what we're fighting for." Sirius looked at her intensely. "It's not the same at all; everything's changed for me too. Me and Remus, we're too old for this. Broken by our friends' deaths. And you. What do you think your departure did for us? You left without a trace, abandoned us."

"I didn't have any choice."  
"You had a choice," Sirius said darkly. "You were running away. It was selfish."  
"What did I have to stay for?" Buffy asked defensively. "Nothing. Everywhere I turned there was death. You've seen a dead body, you've felt how cold they are and how they look like the person you knew but all they really are is a shell."  
"There still was life," Sirius said intensely. Buffy breathed heavily.  
"Not for me. That part of my life is finished and I don't want to deal with it now any more than I did then."  
"It's not your past," Sirius interjected. "It's who you are. Like it or not, you are Buffy Evans, Lily's sister and Harry's godmother. The sooner you realise that the better.

-


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks to my fab beta becks89!

Thanks to:

Lightdemondarkangel – hehe it's easy to dislike Dumbledore in my fic but that's not my intention. The view of him so far is coloured by Buffy's own opinions, he's not all bad and he's not mean either. Stuff will hopefully become clearer!

CelticHeiressFiona – as I just said above, the view of Dumbledore so far is kind of biased since its Buffy's view. He's by no means perfect but you might like him more later in this fic.

Just Me – this really isn't going to be a Buffy/Sirius pairing, I've done that a lot so I kind of want to branch out. There might be another Sirius appearance, I'm not entirely sure yet.

Shadows of Twilight – thanks, it's really nice when people make an effort to give you a long review. I'm trying really hard to keep these characters right, separate in their own rights but still intertwine their story lines. It's kind of easier to do the Hp verse since I'm English, so if I make any drastic American mistakes, call me on it. Hope you like what I come up with and thanks again for the review!

Ztacel – I do have a story plan but it's going to take a while to become clear, please just bear with me!

Silver Warrior – I'm sorry for the Dumbledore bashing, I truly love him to pieces. But the view I've presented of him has been Buffy's view so is understandably angry and resentful. But don't worry, he will appear better much later on and I do adore the character. He may meddle, but he knows what he's doing!

Mysticallove – lol thanks for the review but there will be no Sirius/Buffy pairing, I'm sorry but I've done that so much, I want to branch out. Buffy will be mellowing a bit later, just stick with the story and you'll see!

Also: Sukera, Vld, Damia - Queen of the Gypsi's, manticore-gurl071134

**Chapter 8**

Harry came out of his bedroom and walked across into the living room. He smiled to himself to see Sirius asleep on the sofa, a blanket covering him and his mouth slightly open. On the coffee table a number of empty beer bottles lay. Harry smiled again; they hadn't been drinking beer while he'd been with them which meant they must've been up for a while. And since neither of them were dead, he assumed it had gone successfully.

He gathered up the bottles and dumped them in the bin. He had just got himself a glass of juice when Buffy emerged from her room in her dressing gown, her hair tousled from sleep. She yawned widely then smiled at him sleepily.  
"Sleep okay?" she asked, getting herself some juice and leaning against the counter. Harry nodded.

"You?" he asked. "What time were you up til'?"

"Don't know," Buffy murmured, stifling another yawn. "Late. Or early. We lost track of the time, talking about old stuff."  
Harry nodded towards Sirius.  
"Should I wake him?"  
"No," Buffy said smiling softly. "Let him sleep. He looks peaceful."

* * *

It was several hours until Sirius was alive and kicking. Buffy had showered and dressed and then she and Harry had waited impatiently for him to wake. Eventually they resorted to talking at the top of their voices, making him wake with a start. They spent the rest of the day talking more, and Harry was thrilled to see that Buffy and Sirius were getting on like a house on fire. 

"I'd better get going," Sirius said reluctantly as evening set in. Both Harry and Buffy frowned.

"You could stay longer," Buffy offered. He shook his head smiling.  
"You need time with Harry," he said, mocking her gently with her own words. Buffy smiled wistfully.  
Sirius hugged Harry tightly.  
"Take care," he said, holding Harry by the shoulders. "If there's anything slightly amiss, you know where we are. And make sure you keep in touch."  
Harry nodded and Sirius looked towards Buffy. He hesitated slightly but she came forward and hugged him.

"You keep in touch too," he said softly. "And take care of our godson."

Buffy nodded and kissed his cheek. He smiled at her and then before their eyes he transformed and padded out of the apartment.

Buffy closed the door behind him and turned to Harry with a smile on her face.

"It was good to see him," she said lightly. She grinned to herself then wandered over to the kitchen, opening the fridge. "Want some dinner?"  
Harry nodded and sat down at the breakfast bar while she pulled things out from the fridge.  
"You talked more about the past when he was here," Harry said, trying to keep his tone light. "About my mum and stuff."  
Buffy's back was to him as she prepared the food.  
"Oh….yeah I guess, it's easier with him here because he reminds me of things I'd forgotten."  
"You wouldn't talk about my mum to me," Harry pointed out with a touch of envy.

"I try. It's not easy."  
"But you don't talk about other stuff either," Harry pointed out. "I mean you said something to Sirius about someone called Angel, is he one of the souled vampires? And what about Spike, who's he? And where is he?"

Buffy turned around and Harry realised in shock that he'd been making her angry.

"Lay off the questions okay?" she said sharply. "We've known each other all of two weeks, don't pry into my life. You're not the only one who has stuff you don't want to talk about."  
She stared at him for a few more seconds and then turned back and continued on preparing the food. Harry stared at her back feeling a strange mix of guilt and anger churning in his stomach. He hadn't meant to make her upset but she was pushing him to talk to her and he felt he had the same rights. There was clearly something bugging his aunt and he had an inkling it was to do with her vampire friends.

* * *

Harry picked listlessly at a dinner he didn't want sitting next to Buffy in silence. He escaped as soon as he could, helping her to load the dishwasher and then escaping to his room while muttering something about homework. He was so frustrated that after they had finally got things back on track while Sirius was there, they'd gone back to stony silence almost immediately after he left. 

He threw himself face down on his bed and just lay there for a few minutes, until he was disturbed by a tapping on the window. He looked up quickly and relaxed as he saw Hedwig perched on the window sill outside. He jumped up and opened the window for her. She hooted gratefully, swooping in and landing on her cage. He untied the letter that was attached to her foot and then gave her an owl treat.

He opened the letter and scanned the content rapidly.

_Dear Harry,_

_Glad to hear you got to your Aunt's safely even if it wasn't where you expected. Your aunt sounds pretty cool, how did she manage to make her town fall into a crater? Was it a spell that went wrong? _

_Stuff here is okay, it's difficult to say too much as you never know who might be reading this. We are trying to help as much as we can, which means we get to pick up on a few things. Nothing of much value though. We'll fill you in when you get home. _

_If you've been looking at the Prophet then you'll get the idea of what the Ministry's been saying about you. Of course we know its lies but it's probably hard for you. Try not to let it get to you, they'll be taking it all back when they find out the truth. They didn't even report properly about Cedric, how could they call it an accident? The sooner the truth comes out the better, even if it means open war. _

_Let us know when you leave Rome and where you are going on to. Snuffles said he might drop by, you might have seen him already. Hopefully it won't be too long before we see you again._

_  
Love Hermione and Ron._

Harry reread the letter and then frowned, pushing his hair back roughly. What did they mean about the Daily Prophet? He had been getting the paper and looking at the front page but hadn't seen the slightest mention of himself. He grabbed the nearest copy which happened to be the most recent and opened it a few pages in. His eyes fell onto an article about a wizard who claimed to have been attacked by a rogue flock of Chizpurfles. He scanned it briefly and was shocked when his eyes fell upon his own name. What could he have to do with it? He read the sentence, '_This ridiculous story is surely one worthy of Harry Potter.'_ Harry stared at the words bewildered. He quickly scanned through the rest of the paper and found two more references to himself, each implying that he was a well known tale-teller. Quickly, he looked through older copies of the Prophet and discovered a few more of these references, as well as a few about Dumbledore losing his mind.  
Harry dropped the last paper on the floor and stared at the wall in shock. So everyone in the wizarding world thought he was a liar, and he wasn't even there to defend himself. And Cedric's death an accident…… Harry felt sick to his stomach. There was so much going on in England, things that involved him but no one seemed to give a damn, they just wanted him tucked away somewhere. Not even Ron and Hermione would tell him about what was going on, they were all just letting him be run down daily by  
the Prophet while he wasn't there.

Harry stood up, sat down and then stood up again. He couldn't just stay in this room, things were whirling around in his head, anger, confusion, fear and his scar was prickling like mad. He opened the door and crossed the apartment. He had to talk to someone; Buffy could help him or at least just be there to listen.

He reached her door and pushed it slightly open before hearing her speak and realising she was on the phone.

"Honestly Giles, I really can't handle this right now," Harry heard Buffy say frustratedly. He saw her stride across the room to gaze out the window. "There's just too much going on here for me to be worrying about that. It's hard enough trying to take care of a teenager, without trying to fit slaying in as well."  
Harry moved closer to the door.

"Oh it's not anything really. It's just….difficult. I mean we're practically strangers and on top of everything else I have to take care of, I really don't need another thing to worry about. I mean sometimes I wish he hadn't been told about me, we could've both carried on oblivious about each other. Maybe it would've been better that way."  
Harry pulled the door closed quietly. He had heard enough.

* * *

"No I don't really mean that," Buffy said after a pause. "And this isn't really about Harry. I love having him around. I just thought it would be easier than this….you know, I've been the slayer for eight years, I thought it was my chance to rest. But –" 

Buffy broke off as she heard the front door slam.

"Buffy?" Giles asked confusedly down the phone. Buffy stared for a moment at her closed bedroom door and then lifted the phone top her ear again.  
"Giles I have to go. I'll call you later."  
She pressed the off button on the phone and dashed out of the room.

* * *

Harry pounded the pavement furiously, only barely registering that a chill hung in the air. If Buffy didn't want him around that was fine with him. He would just leave, he didn't need her. He had other places he could go if putting up with him was so horrible for her.  
He turned a corner and there she was before him. He noticed her before she saw him, she was turning to look around her and before he could move, she spotted him and hurried to him.  
"What are you doing?" Buffy exclaimed, thrusting a coat at him which he accepted grudgingly. "Well?" she said expectantly. He narrowed his eyes at her.  
"I heard you on the phone," he said darkly. "If you don't want me around, I'll go home. I don't need you to look after me."  
Buffy's expression softened.  
"You really shouldn't eavesdrop, you never get to hear the whole story," she warned lightly. She put a hand on his shoulder. "Of course I want you around, don't be stupid. What you heard me say was in the heat of the moment, Giles just gave me some bad news. Truth is, Faith's got a potential apocalypse on her hands in Cleveland and I'm expected to be there to back her up. But I want to be here and it's difficult. I've been spreading myself thin and it's caught up with me."  
She put her arm around his shoulder and they began to walk. He didn't really know what to think but he knew that despite his anger, he still badly wanted this to work.  
"Honestly, the problem is that I want to be here. I want to get to know you, that's my priority. But there's a part of me that says I should be doing my job, that that should be my priority. Which is why I'm freaking out. But it's nothing to do with you, I want you here. And you can't 'go home' because this is your home, with me."  
Harry nodded slowly. He and Buffy reached a small coffee shop and entered. It was practically deserted. They ordered and then sat down in two overlarge armchairs before he spoke. 

"I understand," he said quietly. "But it hasn't exactly been a barrel of laughs, has it? I'm not sure I realised how hard it would be. I mean here I feel like I'm just a nuisance half the time and then there's so much going on in England and I'm scared that there's so little I can do. I got a letter from my friends and it said basically nothing. I mean the Ministry of Magic is completely denying the fact that Voldemort has returned. Dumbledore's being blamed for what they're calling a lie and meanwhile the Death Eaters are at work again. The national newspaper is calling me a liar every day. And they called Cedric's death an accident, like he deserved it, like he did something wrong……." He stopped abruptly and his cheeks flushed, he'd said too much. Buffy opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again as the waitress placed two coffees on the table and then departed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she said gently once they were alone. Harry shook his head and looked away.

"I know what it feels like," Buffy said quietly. "I've been there."  
"With Spike?" Harry said and then regretted it. Buffy looked away sharply. Harry was afraid he had gone too far but then she nodded.  
"Tell me," he said simply and so she did. Hesitatingly at first but gathering momentum as she went on. She told him everything, Angel and how it was with him and then how she lost him and how much it had hurt, only to find him and then lose him all over again. And Riley, the man she had tried so desperately to be in love with but when it came down to it, the slayer inside her just wouldn't let her. And then Spike, the obsession he had had with her, her death and rebirth and the whole twisted secret relationship they had cultivated. She even told him about the rape, she felt she had to, it was important to her that he understood everything. And then Spike's soul and the way she had slept in his arms. His death and her saying she loved him.  
"I couldn't believe what he said then," Buffy said hollowly. "I'd laid it on the line for him and he'd thrown it back in my face. But now, I can see, he was right to do that. I don't know if I meant it but when I said it, it didn't matter. There were no consequences, no throwbacks. I could say it and never have to deal with it. But now I find myself wondering what it would be like if he hadn't died. But I guess I'll never know."  
There was an understanding between them then and Harry finally felt something inside him that made her feel like family.  
"But you miss him?" Harry asked quietly.  
"A lot. More than I thought I could miss someone."

Harry cocked an eyebrow.

"More than you missed Angel?"  
Buffy grimaced.

"Differently," she said enigmatically. "I broke down when I lost Angel, partly because I was a kid and partly because of everything else that happened that night. But I'm an adult now and I have responsibilities. For Spike, I have to be strong. It has to be enough that I knew him and he loved me because there's things I have to do. But that doesn't mean he meant less to me than Angel."

Harry smiled.  
"So basically what you're saying is that you have no clue."  
Buffy grinned ruefully.  
"I don't think about that question because it makes my head hurt," she replied. "I just have to keep things simple. Right now I know that I miss Spike a lot, sometimes it hurts and sometimes not so much. I wish he were with me but he's not and that's something I have to cope with. I know what it's like to miss people."  
Harry nodded slowly and Buffy sipped her coffee and then looked at him expectantly.

"But you know how that feels too," Buffy commented heavily. "You miss Lily like I do."

"But I don't," Harry said with difficulty. "I miss having parents but I never even knew my mum or my dad. I miss having the feeling of family and I miss them being there. Sometimes I really need them and they're not there. And it makes me so angry sometimes."  
Harry looked down; his hands were trembling in his lap. He'd never spoken this openly about his parents.  
"Angry at them?"

"Sometimes," he said darkly. "I mean, if they could've just picked a different secret keeper, anyone at all, then they would still be here. If they'd just have let Dumbledore do it then I'd still have parents. But they trusted Pettigrew and it killed them. And because of that mistake, I had to grow up alone. And I feel so horrible for feeling like that, guilty because they're dead and I still think like this."  
Harry looked up at Buffy, unshed tears lingering in his eyes. She shook her head.  
"You're not a bad person," she said sincerely. "You're human. My mom, well not my birth mom, but the mom I grew up with, died a couple of years ago from a brain tumour. And for a while afterwards I was so furious at her for leaving. I was going through an awful time, Dawn was in danger and my life was balancing on the edge. And I needed her so much but she left." She put her hand on his. "But she didn't choose to leave and neither did James and Lily. They would've done anything they could for us but sometimes you just have to realise that that's how life is. It's hard."

"When does it get easier?" Harry murmured. Buffy shrugged.  
"Maybe it doesn't," she said softly. "Maybe when we're really old and wrinkled and the only thing we have to worry about is what we're eating for dinner. But right now we have to fight and know that it's the best we can do." She clasped his hand tightly and met his eyes. "Tell me about what happened last summer."  
He hesitated but not for long, he wanted her to know. It would help, he thought, to have someone else on his side who could understand. He told her about the Triwizard Tournament and all the signs and fear about Voldemort. He told her about the tasks and the other contestants and how he had touched the cup and it had transported him and Cedric. And then he reached the part about the graveyard and he faltered. It was like reliving it all over again. Taking out his wand with Cedric. And the high cold voice…._'kill the spare'_. Cedric lying of the ground, a vacant expression on his dead face. The rebirth, the fight, the ghosts.  
"You saw Lily?" Buffy murmured, her mouth dry. Harry nodded.  
"An echo of her when she was alive," he muttered. "She spoke to me, just a few words. Encouragement, telling me to go."

Buffy stared at him in shock for a few moments.

"And you saw that boy, Cedric?"

"He asked me to take his body back to his parents," Harry said wearily. "But…" It seemed important that he get this out, it was important that she know even though he was struggling to speak properly. "…it shouldn't have been him; it wasn't meant for him….the cup was meant for me, I was supposed to be sent there, not him. But I told him….I told him to take the cup with me so we would both win. And then they killed him."  
Harry heard hung low, his eyes burned with unshed tears.  
"It should've been just me, not him….it wasn't meant to be him. I told him to take the cup. I killed him and his mum….she said it was okay." He looked up at Buffy, tears wet on his cheeks. "I killed her son and she forgave me. She didn't know what I did, what I said to him. If it weren't for me he would be alive. He didn't deserve to die."

Buffy put her arms around her young nephew and held him. He didn't sob against her but just let her hold him. She pulled back and wiped his tears from his cheeks with her hand.  
"You can't control life," she said softly. "Or death. We wish we could but we can't. And you can't keep blaming yourself for a murder that was nothing to do with you. Cedric was killed by Voldemort and it wasn't your fault. You're at war and there's always death in war. It's so hard but sometimes we have to say goodbye and lay the ghosts to rest, because that's all they are, ghosts, and they'll never be anything else."

* * *

They walked home, arms wrapped round each others waists, in silence. It was a different kind of silence than before, not frosty but companionable. When they reached they apartment, Harry gave Buffy a wan smile and then went to his bedroom. She stared after him for a long time, wanting so badly to make things better for him even though she knew she couldn't just like that. But she could help and now it would be easier. The ice was broken and they were real family now.  
She moved over to the balcony and opened the doors wide, stepping out into the night air. The stars shone overheard, winking at her and she breathed in deeply, closing her eyes and just feeling, imagining she could feel the starlight on her face. She leant on the iron railings and reached into her pocket, extracting a crumpled packet of cigarettes with one inside. She took it out, putting the packet back in her pocket and put it between her lips. She lit it and inhaled deeply, taking a long drag. The feeling calmed her, her first cigarette and her last. She held it between her slender fingers and looked out over Rome, her city now. Not quite Sunnydale but not bad all the same. Her heart was in Sunnydale though, buried beneath the rubble. She stared up at the sky, focusing on the stars. She smiled to herself. Her own ghost but she had the memories of him and that had to be enough. 

"This one's for you love," she murmured, looking back up at the stars. She took another drag and then flicked the ash off the end. She stood there smoking the cigarette right until there was practically nothing left. Her fingers released the butt and it fell from the balcony, before being caught by the breeze and blown away.

* * *

Review please! 


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